God Do You See Me

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The God who sees

The God who knows you

The God who created you

The God who formed you

Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the Lord who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel;

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

For the past two days this scripture has been going through my mind and heart as I began to really meditate deeply on each word, each sentence over and over again allowing it to sink deeply in my heart. That this was not just a prophecy that Isaiah was speaking to Israel nor was it just for our for Father Jacob but this scripture was meant for me…for you. The Lord is speaking directly to me and to everyone of his children who have felt forgotten, rejected, and even worthless. This all began after watching the amazing TV sereis “ The Chosen” which I encourage all believers to watch and to please share with everyone. It has touched my heart in way that I can’t explain. It’s a sereis about the life of Jesus, I know some maybe reading this and thinking yea we have seen so many Jesus movies but, this one is different. The writing is so impeciable that it has to be truly Holy Spiirt inspired and heavenly indeed. It depicts not only the life of Jesus but, his heart, personality, character also that of all the apostles and their lives before encountering Jesus. You get to know each one, their own stories and life who they were and how they became different after meeting the Messiah.  It draws you in so deeply, and the first season leaves you hanging for so much more. 

The first episode introduces Matthew, Simon Peter , Andrew, Nicodemus and the main character of the episode Mary Magdalene. It shows her life in despair not only by being a prostitue by the name of “lilith” but dealing with demonic manifistations that cause her to go into spells where the demons attack people. It shows her in the beginning as a small girl , innocent and scared ccoming to her father who remindes her to recite Isaiah 43:1 anytime she is afriad. She has a doll that she is holding and now older has kept that doll and tries to recite the prayers after the demonic spell but to no avial  she tares the prayer up and throws it in the water. She becomes hopeless and was about to commit sucicde then Jesus comes. As she enters a tavern drinking a concution to num her from the pain Jesus, the Messiah appears seemingly out of no where telling her that she doesn’t have to do that any more. The demons within her want to run from Jesus so she asked Him to leave her alone and begans to walk out of the tavern. Jesus follows her out and calls her by her real name “Mary of Magdala”. She is utter shock and says who are you and he recites Isiah 43:1….Thus says the Lord who created you…
It ends with her breaking in tears in his arms as he frees her from all the demons.

This scene has replayed over and over in my mind. I have never been a prostitue or raped but, how I can relate to Mary Magdalene if we were honest we all can. I was once a girl who was hurt by the world and striving to be seen. I was once a girl who was afraid, felt so forgotten by God and thought my prayers fell on empty ears. I was once a a girl tormented by demonic attacks, so fearful of the dark and thought the demons had power over me. I was once a girl who was insecure and wasn’t happy with who I was. I was once a girl who felt hopeless thinking “this is the story of my life” nothing would ever change as certain cycles would happen over and over again.  THEN I MET HIM, I MET JESUS and just one look my way changed everything.

It was through my first prophetic word from my cousin October 2014 after 29 years of living life for myself, praying empty prayers, crying out to the Lord but not seeing any manifestation when she said “God has not forgotten you…help is on the way”  with tears in my eyes that I realized “He sees me”. He had heard every cry of my heart before then, had heard every prayer and catched every tear, he saw me. Then after that I made a decision to give my life to him fully surrendering Jan 1, 2015 telling him I was afraid to give him complete control but, I would if he wanted it then immeaditely my phone dinged with a notification which happened to be the bible verse of the day 

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid for I am your God, Don’t be discouraged for I am with you. I am here to help you and strengthen you. I will lift you up victoriously with my right hand

“He saw me again and answered me” I was in tears, God sees me. You beloved one, reading this God sees you too, he hears you, He is right there with you, and he will never leave you. Since seeing this episode my heart has been burden for the many who feel forgotten by God the many who don’t realize how personal and familiar he is in our day to day lives. He is God who does life with us and he is speaking all the time but, many don’t recognize it. As we tend to base on our relationship with God on how are lives are going rather than who He is. Hagar is great example being some one of a lower class in her time, a servant to Sarah, Abraham wife and not only that but his mistress who bore Ishmael. Who wasn’t even the promised child but when Sarah got upset with Hagar and jealous kicking her and Ishamel out of the house God saw her and met her where she was at.In the wilderness with a hungry child who was dying, a servant, low income, of no worth in the eyes of the world, a mistress, with a bastard child yet God saw her and heard her cry and delivered her. As she cried out “He is the God who sees”

Genesis 16:13
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

I don’t know what is going on in your life, or who the world has labled you to be. You may be of no worth in the eyes of the world, your peers, your family, your loved one or even your spouse. You may feel so alone, hurting so bad, tormented even but I am here to tell you that God sees you beloved. He knows you by name, He created you and formed every detail of your being. From the number of hairs on your head, to that that figure you don’t like so much, to that nose you complain about to that character flaw you wish you could get rid of, to that heart only He can see and repair. Yes my beloved one, He knows you by name, so don’t fear anymore. Don’t fear the storm that is surrounding you, don’t fear the past that you regret or the future that you cannot see, don’t fear being alone because He will always be with you. He has redeemed every detail of your life and you are his. Before the foundation of the world, yes, the Holy One of Israel, Jesus Christ breathed you from his heart  and sent you into this world. And the day you were born he told all of heaven and earth “THIS ONE, IS MINE”. You are His beloved and he has great things in store for you don’t give up He loves you. Help is on the way…God sees you.

-From Jesus With Love

Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

Jesus Is Waiting, Dont Stand Him Up

 

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Have you ever been stood up? Have you ever kept a date waiting or waiting on date who seems to have no respect for your time? Well, can you believe many times that’s what we do to Jesus. Many times we would like to think God is a distance, cold, judgmental, harsh, unemotional person but, he isn’t at all. Many have him all wrong! We forget that  Jesus came on earth, fully man so he has very real human needs, emotions, desires and longings that only YOU can fulfill.  A  week ago I found myself doing this very thing, I saw Jesus on a picnic table with all this food waiting on me, and he had tears running down his cheeks. Some might say wait, God has needs and desires for me, noooo but, I beg to differ even in scripture he talks about his jealous love for us and how we are His desire.

Song of Solomon 7:10
I belong to my beloved, and HIS DESIRE is for me.

You see as a bride of Christ he longs and desires to be with his bride. Spend quality time with his beloved and how it pains him so much when we neglect him for worldly things or even desires. That’s exactly what I did a few weeks ago. I found myself waking up randomly @5 am abruptly but, peacefully from my sleep. I have come to know when I wake up in the middle of the night full of energy for no reason that is the Holy Spirit waking me up because He has something to say or Jesus calling me into prayer or worship. So I had a strong sense that the Lord was calling me into his bridal chambers to spend some alone time with him. Now at the same time we have very real opposition from the enemy would love for us to be not sensitive to the Lords heart, distracted and put our attention on other things when Jesus calls us. That’s exactly what he did and I fell for it (slap hands to the face).

Instead of me immediately going into prayer and worship I thought to myself let me use the restroom real quick, then after I happened to walk into the kitchen, then I happened to open the fridge out of curiosity, then I happened to see a huge pan of macaroni and cheese my sister had just cooked that night…..I knew immediately this was a snare by the enemy because I wasn’t even hungry but that mac and cheese was calling my name. (Side note the Lord has been really teaching me on self-denial and having self control with me compulsively eating and he already revealed that was a demon of self indulgence that caused me and many others to do that…that’s for a different blog lol). So would I choose Nana (my flesh) or Jesus….and I chose Nana, thinking to myself well Lord just one little bite wont hurt. One bite turned to two bites before I knew it, it was an hour  later and I had kept the Lord waiting whiles I indulged. (another slap to face)

So when I finally went into worship and prayer, oh my goodness my heart was broken to pieces. I saw Jesus on a picnic table with all this food waiting on me, and he had tears running down his cheeks. Which broke my heart and caused me to cry as well. I knew he had been waiting for a long while and I felt in my heart he was so hurt that I chose the macaroni then him. It may seem silly to some that God would care that much in the smallest detail of our lives or even in the decisions that we make to bring him to tears but he does.  He made me to understand that He had this heavenly feast prepared for me  that would’ve satisfied my soul. Yet I chose to follow my flesh instead and indulge on something that only temporally satisfied. Furthermore, to make it more painful I kept him waiting, My God, the creator o the Heavens, the Lover of my soul, My savior called for me and I stood him up over macaroni. He then spoke to my heart how so many of his children do this on a daily bases, I then saw different images of Jesus having a date prepared and just waiting….waiting… being left all alone and most of the time being stood up, no one shows up. It broke my heart because it broke his, I had to ask the Lord to forgive me and I comforted him with my worship.

So I want to challenge you:
How many times have you made a commitment to spend time with Jesus, to go on a date with him, to give him a certain time frame, or certain hour that you designated just for Jesus? Then something comes up, you forget, you do something else a movie, social media or even worse you use that time to spend on someone else and you stand him up. You casually think to yourself, oh God understand, he doesn’t care. Wrong, wrong, wrong….you see he does. The very thought of having quality time with him came from Him. He is so much more excited to spend time with you then you are with him. YOU are the highlight of his day, the apple of his eye, His heaven on earth. In a world where its dark, where majority of the population rejects him, insults him, is angry at him, blasphemes and mocks him. He takes so much solace in hearing one person, one of his brides respond to his love and CHOOSE him from all the things in the world they can do. Do you know how that makes him feel…. it makes him feel like He is indeed Lord of your life and it heals his wounded heart. You bring healing to the heart of your God by worship and prayer. He loves to bask in Your presence, can you believe that….the creator of the universe loves to bask in YOUR presence so will you make take for him and if you have will you be committed to your time and most importantly will you choose Jesus every time when He calls?……He is waiting with excitement, don’t stand him up!

-From Jesus with Love

Singleness In Light Of Eternity

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 I know, I know I can already the see the eye rolls of many young ladies who are desiring, have been waiting and some to be frankly honest desperate to get married . I can also hear some ladies saying “what do you mean I shouldn’t desire marriage?” lol of course not. Marriage is a wonderful gift from the Lord and meant to be an example and a reflection of our relationship with him. However, in our generation marriage and  weddings have been idolized and magnified leaving those who are single feeling incomplete, hopeless and sometimes purposeless which is a lie many have believed and soooo far from the truth. We have even taken the worlds approach by encouraging ladies to make themselves available, to even look a certain way to catch the eyes of a man or even worse were conditioned to believe as a single woman when you come to Jesus the next step is getting married. So you pursue, hunger for that, desire that all through your single season….and its wasted. In light of eternity there is so much work to be done whiles your single! I know man go through this too but speaking from a woman’s point of view because that’s what I am. A single 32 year old lover of Jesus and pursing him with everything I have…..until he GIVES me marriage!

Song of Solomon 8:4
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.

I love this scripture especially this message version is says not stir up love until you’re ready. Many ladies believe they are ready for marriage but let me challenge you are you truly? As I said before marriage is a gift given by God but most importantly it is suppose to mirror the relationship you have with Jesus already. As a single woman Jesus is your husband (Isaiah 54:5), Is he your everything, do you do everything with him and for him?  One thing that confused me upon surrendering to the Lord was I began to notice many young Christian ladies around me who would talk more about marriage constantly, go to conferences for it, pursue it, pray and fast for it than Jesus (which there is nothing wrong with these things) but my hearts desire was to pursue more of Jesus. An aunt of mine even made a comment to my mom stating “Wow Nana is really into the Lord she must be wanting a husband”. I was like whaaaaa lol I was noticing that was the mentality of most of the African woman at my local church. You could have success in your life and career but if you weren’t married it meant nothing and that going to church as a single woman was to find a husband (the devil is a lie ) LOL. Please I wanted Jesus more than my last breath and I still do #lovemesomehim.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Are You Submitted Bride To Jesus

Ladies how you are single is how you will be married. If your discontent, complaining, unhappy, selfish, not driven or motivated and especially not submitted to the Lord that’s exactly how you will be when you get married. That’s dangerous lol. Marriage is an example of what your relationship is with Christ. So if you haven’t totally surrendered to the Lord in every area of your life then how than will you know how to submit to your husband. So in this single season why don’t you ask God what it means to submit to him. Are you obedient to what he ask you to do, are you mindful of what you watch, where you go, how you spend your time and even your money all just to please him? Do you seek Jesus for counsel before you make decisions?

Proverb 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Are You About His Kingdom

What are you doing with this beautiful gift of singleness the Lord has entrusted to you. Are you a wise woman building up his kingdom or are you building your kingdom? Many ladies have their hearts so focused on marriage  that they become idle no doing anything to really impact the kingdom. Some might think the only ministry you will have has only to do with you and your husband. However, your life should be a ministry now. In Genesis the Lord blessed the man and the woman and said “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it (Genesis 1:28).  Many use this scripture solely pertaining to barring children but God wants you to bare fruit so are you? There is soooo much work to be done. All of  you have an amazing purpose outside of your husband in this season.  This season might be for intercession of others, serving your community or local church, traveling on mission trips, hosting events to draw many to Christ,  evangelizing where he places you, leading bible studies, serving children, poor and elderly or might be season to walk in deliverance, freedom, healing, building your confidence, trust and faith in your true husband Jesus! Guess what, when God finally gives you the gift of marriage none of these things stop, your spouse just adds on to it…..to the Kingdom. #Kingdomcouple

 

So you see sis you are burdened with a glorious amazing awing purpose and it doesn’t begin when you get married but, it began the moment you said yes to Jesus…..hehe wait you see how when a man ask you “will you be my wife?”…well when you accept Jesus you actually say yes to being his bride hahah I love that! So now that your married to Christ take his hand in this single season and do life with him. Eternity starts right NOW and he has gifted you with so many other gifts he wants you to use right NOW. So what will you do to impact eternity whiles you wait…for the gift of marriage?

-From Jesus with Love