God Do You See Me

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The God who sees

The God who knows you

The God who created you

The God who formed you

Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the Lord who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel;

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

For the past two days this scripture has been going through my mind and heart as I began to really meditate deeply on each word, each sentence over and over again allowing it to sink deeply in my heart. That this was not just a prophecy that Isaiah was speaking to Israel nor was it just for our for Father Jacob but this scripture was meant for me…for you. The Lord is speaking directly to me and to everyone of his children who have felt forgotten, rejected, and even worthless. This all began after watching the amazing TV sereis “ The Chosen” which I encourage all believers to watch and to please share with everyone. It has touched my heart in way that I can’t explain. It’s a sereis about the life of Jesus, I know some maybe reading this and thinking yea we have seen so many Jesus movies but, this one is different. The writing is so impeciable that it has to be truly Holy Spiirt inspired and heavenly indeed. It depicts not only the life of Jesus but, his heart, personality, character also that of all the apostles and their lives before encountering Jesus. You get to know each one, their own stories and life who they were and how they became different after meeting the Messiah.  It draws you in so deeply, and the first season leaves you hanging for so much more. 

The first episode introduces Matthew, Simon Peter , Andrew, Nicodemus and the main character of the episode Mary Magdalene. It shows her life in despair not only by being a prostitue by the name of “lilith” but dealing with demonic manifistations that cause her to go into spells where the demons attack people. It shows her in the beginning as a small girl , innocent and scared ccoming to her father who remindes her to recite Isaiah 43:1 anytime she is afriad. She has a doll that she is holding and now older has kept that doll and tries to recite the prayers after the demonic spell but to no avial  she tares the prayer up and throws it in the water. She becomes hopeless and was about to commit sucicde then Jesus comes. As she enters a tavern drinking a concution to num her from the pain Jesus, the Messiah appears seemingly out of no where telling her that she doesn’t have to do that any more. The demons within her want to run from Jesus so she asked Him to leave her alone and begans to walk out of the tavern. Jesus follows her out and calls her by her real name “Mary of Magdala”. She is utter shock and says who are you and he recites Isiah 43:1….Thus says the Lord who created you…
It ends with her breaking in tears in his arms as he frees her from all the demons.

This scene has replayed over and over in my mind. I have never been a prostitue or raped but, how I can relate to Mary Magdalene if we were honest we all can. I was once a girl who was hurt by the world and striving to be seen. I was once a girl who was afraid, felt so forgotten by God and thought my prayers fell on empty ears. I was once a a girl tormented by demonic attacks, so fearful of the dark and thought the demons had power over me. I was once a girl who was insecure and wasn’t happy with who I was. I was once a girl who felt hopeless thinking “this is the story of my life” nothing would ever change as certain cycles would happen over and over again.  THEN I MET HIM, I MET JESUS and just one look my way changed everything.

It was through my first prophetic word from my cousin October 2014 after 29 years of living life for myself, praying empty prayers, crying out to the Lord but not seeing any manifestation when she said “God has not forgotten you…help is on the way”  with tears in my eyes that I realized “He sees me”. He had heard every cry of my heart before then, had heard every prayer and catched every tear, he saw me. Then after that I made a decision to give my life to him fully surrendering Jan 1, 2015 telling him I was afraid to give him complete control but, I would if he wanted it then immeaditely my phone dinged with a notification which happened to be the bible verse of the day 

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid for I am your God, Don’t be discouraged for I am with you. I am here to help you and strengthen you. I will lift you up victoriously with my right hand

“He saw me again and answered me” I was in tears, God sees me. You beloved one, reading this God sees you too, he hears you, He is right there with you, and he will never leave you. Since seeing this episode my heart has been burden for the many who feel forgotten by God the many who don’t realize how personal and familiar he is in our day to day lives. He is God who does life with us and he is speaking all the time but, many don’t recognize it. As we tend to base on our relationship with God on how are lives are going rather than who He is. Hagar is great example being some one of a lower class in her time, a servant to Sarah, Abraham wife and not only that but his mistress who bore Ishmael. Who wasn’t even the promised child but when Sarah got upset with Hagar and jealous kicking her and Ishamel out of the house God saw her and met her where she was at.In the wilderness with a hungry child who was dying, a servant, low income, of no worth in the eyes of the world, a mistress, with a bastard child yet God saw her and heard her cry and delivered her. As she cried out “He is the God who sees”

Genesis 16:13
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

I don’t know what is going on in your life, or who the world has labled you to be. You may be of no worth in the eyes of the world, your peers, your family, your loved one or even your spouse. You may feel so alone, hurting so bad, tormented even but I am here to tell you that God sees you beloved. He knows you by name, He created you and formed every detail of your being. From the number of hairs on your head, to that that figure you don’t like so much, to that nose you complain about to that character flaw you wish you could get rid of, to that heart only He can see and repair. Yes my beloved one, He knows you by name, so don’t fear anymore. Don’t fear the storm that is surrounding you, don’t fear the past that you regret or the future that you cannot see, don’t fear being alone because He will always be with you. He has redeemed every detail of your life and you are his. Before the foundation of the world, yes, the Holy One of Israel, Jesus Christ breathed you from his heart  and sent you into this world. And the day you were born he told all of heaven and earth “THIS ONE, IS MINE”. You are His beloved and he has great things in store for you don’t give up He loves you. Help is on the way…God sees you.

-From Jesus With Love

Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

NOTHING Will Stop Me From Doing The Will Of God

rhemas.php

SNEER a contemptuous or mocking smile, remark, or tone.

PERSECUTION: hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs

THREATS: a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

SUFFERING: The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

HUNGER:a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

COLD: of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

FLATTERY: excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

ENTREATY: an earnest or humble request.
FRIENDSHIPS: a relationship between friends.

 

I received this rhema from the Lord months ago and now how I know so well why he gave it to me. In these past few months I have experienced all the above with such intensity to detour and derail me from what the will of God is for my life but by his grace Nothing has stopped me. This walk with Jesus has been a lonely, narrow and many times painful road. Yet, every time I have been met with resistance the Lord continues to give me the grace to not only preserver, endure but to say “yes’ to him. He did say …

Matthew 7:14
How NARROW is the gate and DIFFICULT the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Oh how we can forget that so easily in a generation and culture where especially in the western world following Jesus doesn’t seem to cost much because the Gospel has become comfortable, self-seeking, world and people pleasing, prosperity driven Gospel. Which is so far removed from what Jesus said Luke 14:25-27 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.  What we have been really taught is not to follow Christ but, to follow our denominational traditions, fundamentalist beliefs, and even follow after popular ministers. However, Jesus made it very clear to count the cost to be his disciple you must not love family, even your own life to follow me. I would say that is the biggest attachment and impediment to anyone who wants to live a religious life for the Lord. The apostles all had professions, some had wives and children but, immeaditly they heard the voice of the Messiah, Jesus Christ calling them. They stopped and left immeaditly to follow him. I can imagine the suffering they went thru and endured for the sake of loving the Lord more than they loved their lives.

The Lord has a known will which is given through is word. Instructions for any believer to live their lives according to his standard and commandments. Furthermore, the Lord has a “unique” will for every soul upon this earth. Its is our job through pursing intimacy with Jesus that he reveals or better yet leads us into his perfect will for our lives. My Journey to becoming a Franciscan sister has been full of opposition and even since answering the call to leave my family, friends, church and follow Jesus to New Mexico (His Will).  I had faced sneers from loved ones the day before I was to leave for New Mexico they had an intervention at my going away gathering. Where  they invited a pastor without my knowing as they prayed over me for deliverance because they felt I was deiceved I still continued to follow (His Will). I have faced much persecution when I began to share my beliefs on social media concerning the communion of saints and our wonderful Blessed Mother. As many people criticized me on all fronts both publicy and privately I still continued to follow (His Will). I faced a warning from my church by posting the Rosary Prayer and prophetic messages from Jesus to warn his brides to pray for our President because it didn’t fit with the beliefs of the Church so was given an ultimatum to remove my post or step down form leadership. I still continued to follow (His Will) and stepped down.  I was faced with entreaties from my loved ones to please honor my mothers wishes, my family name and come back home because this wasn’t what they had planned for MY life…I still continued to follow (His Will).  When I finally arrived in New Mexico and found myself facing very cold nights on the mountain, sleeping in a tent, and having to a Lords supper at night in the cold. I could’ve, just went to bed early or even called it quits because of the the weather and living conditions but…I still continues to follow (His Will). I faced many demonic attacks in dreams, sleep paralysis, demonic oppression…I still continue to follow (His Will). I  have faced much suffering and I know I will continue too in this walk with the Lord as he is giving me the grace to count it all joy!

I feel the most painful and sure way the enemy will use to detour many from the Lords will is FRIENDSHIPS through men’s opinion and the fear of men. Jobs friends came in the guise to console him when he lost everything but rather all turned too criticize him harshly instead in his darkest moment. Even the Lord was tempted by Satan through his closest friends and disciple, Peter to stop him from carrying The Cross, that would bring redemption to all mankind.  Matthew 16: 22-23 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Jesus was abandoned and betrayed by the closest ones to him when he needed them the most…following the will of His Father. So how then can we think we will be greater than the master? I too lost all my friends and relationships. The closest ones too me have indeed criticized my walk, many have said the same things Peter said as I made my decision to pick up MY cross and follow the Lord to New Mexico “Nana, Far be it that you are hearing from Jesus, Far be it to dishonor your Parents, Far be it that you should move to New Mexico and leave everything behind, Far be it that Jesus wants us to suffer, Far be it that you are called to a life of Poverty, Far be it to be to pray to the saints or Blessed Mother, Far be it that you should follow Jesus in this way …but, they too were not mindful of the ways of God. You see, I must remember that its not them. Many have pure intentions and motives but, it is indeed Satan working through all to stop me…to stop you from doing the will of God. You must not be attached to anyone or anything to follow Jesus, not moved by mans options or even the hatred of hell. For truly when something is the will of God all Hell will come against it…literally.

My brethren it will COST YOU EVERYTHING to follow Jesus and the call of God upon your life. If you have no resistance or oppression then you might want to discern again if your going in the right direction. We are called to follow that same thorny, painful road Jesus took to calvary, yes he finished it on the cross but, he calls us to now pick up our cross and follow him down that same narrow road too die to ourselves that He may live. Which is filled with much tribulation but, so much more consolation, freedom, joy, peace that passes understanding, contentment and deep intimacy you couldn’t imagine!! I wouldn’t trade my cross nor do I regret anything the Lord has allowed in my walk. For it has strengthen me, humbled me, grown me, strecthed me, and drawn me into such a deep intimacy place with Jesus. For the greater the suffering, the greater the intimacy. So my friend, what is stopping you from saying “yes” to Jesus from doing the will of God? Set your face like flint, put your hand to the plough and don’t look back. Trust him he is so Freaking FAITHFUL!!

Luke 5:10-11
Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.    ”Leave everything and follow me”

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Tasting The Bitter Cup…..When Your Sister Buys The Wrong Juice for Communion

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Luke 22:42
“Father,” he said, “if you will, take this cup of suffering away from me. Not my will, however, but your will be done.” 

That was my face when I excitedly rushed into my room with this new and rather large jug of “juice” I had asked my sister to purchase for me to do communion. As I took my cracker thanking the Lord and taking my cup to gulp down this sweet wine, my face contorted as the juice touched my tongue. I thought to myself eeek what is this and in my knee jerk reaction I wanted to stop taking the juice but I knew I couldn’t because this was indeed Gods blood and I couldn’t reject that. At that very moment thoughts flooded my mind of the bitter cup that Jesus drank for me, for the whole world and he wanted me to have a taste of it. I had to laugh because I knew this was the doing of the Holy Spirit, he wanted me to have a real  experience in tasting the Lord’s bitter cup and his body in my communion service.  You see I had asked my sister to get me grape juice and without looking she got ” 64 Fl oz DIET cranberry -pomegranate  juice” eeek its something awful. Taste like that medicine your parents had to force every child to take in order that you feel better. However, I recognized how witty  the Holy Spirit was and smiled in that moment realizing this is the biggest communion juice I had ever purchased so I would be drinking this bitter cup for a while. Oh, brother lol

Communion is something I believe in the church can become something we do religiously taking it for granted. Many times we recite the same thing “thanking the Lord for his body and blood what was done on the cross so we may be free” forgetting  the true meaning behind Eucharist. We can forget that when we take communion we are telling the Lord I will share with you in your suffering. I too Lord will drink this bitter cup. You see when Jesus was at Gethsemane in travailing prayer for what would have to come upon him to redeem the whole world he too reconsidered, hesitated to even drinking the cup but, yielded his will to the Father for his glory and because of love. Yet many times we are eager to take communion because its the first of the month at church or to remember our sins are forgiven forgetting we too are making a commitment to suffer with the Lord in these trying times. Then when we find ourselves in trials or inconveniences, hardships, tribulation we so desperately what to get out and be delivered quickly. Many of us even get angry with the Lord regarding what he allows in our life but…did you forget you drank the cup on that first Sunday at church. By taking communion you said ” Lord I too will drink this bitter cup of whatever you allow and I declare not my will be done but yours”.

Luke 22:19-20
And He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you.

The Lord ask of us to do this in remembrance of him. In remembrance of what he suffered for us the humiliation, rejection, torture, betrayal, slander/reproach, shame, heartache, loneliness, isolation, brokenness to name a few but as he gave the cup he said this is my blood which is pour out for you. How many are willing to suffer for the Lord in this way because when you take communion that is what you are telling him. I too will drink the cup. I too will be poured out as a drink offering, a living sacrifice for you Lord.  As I drink of this bitter cup and eat of your body yes, Lord  I give my entire self to you as you have given your entire self to me, not my will  but your will be done in my life.

Philippians 2:17
But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.

So the next time you take communion I would encourage you to ponder over these things just for a moment to really connect with the heart of God before you partake of his blood and you eat of his body are you willing to be one with him in that way. If so as you drink the “sweet church juice” remembering  for the joy set before him he endured his cross and how sweet that is for us all who would call upon him. So for the joy set before you endure patiently whatever trial that he allows joining your suffering to his knowing that he will restore every bitter moment in your life into sweet joy!

-From Jesus with Love

The Hidden Sin Of Venting….Lord I repent

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So Lord has been really exposing the hidden sins in my life and how easily I just fall prey to them. It is indeed a grace the Lord gives to a soul to reveal the depravity of your own sins and it humbles you. Causing you not to look down on others but to see them better than yourself as you become aware of your many weaknesses. He has been really pushing me to be sincere, honest and transparent so it gives others the freedom to do so. Many times in this christian walk we tend too….wait who am I kidding we just don’t tend too but almost always we never talk about our weakness or sins we struggle with but Paul told us to boast about our weakness so we can receive more of Christ grace….Lord knows I need it lol

 Proverbs 17:9  Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

So I have a confession to make one of my many hidden sins is….venting or repeating an offense because that’s exactly what it is. I found myself being offended by an action of a friend and at first. I kept it between me and Jesus forgiving him and also seeing how Jesus wanted to humble me in that situation as well. However, as days when one I found myself  repeating the matter too two other people with out mentioning names but in all honestly just to see if I was validated in my offense. Which in the eyes of God no offense is ever validated because were suppose to walk in love and forgive all offenses. So why do we vent? You would’ve thought after telling the first friend I became convicted and repenting of back biting just to turn around and do it again with another friend who gently admonished for walking in pride as well because I felt justified in my feelings. Then this scripture popped into my heart and I knew I fell again….Lord help your daughter. This scripture above is soooo true. How many times do we get offended by what others do then turn around tell another friend, tell a stranger, post about it on social media, vent about it on a blog, twitter wherever other would listen  rather than honestly taking it to Jesus and leaving it there.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool vents all his anger, but a wise man holds it back.

The Lord calls someone who vents, or repeats an offense a fool. Sheesh there way to many fools then lol living in a culture that is so matter fact to do that, even feeling entitled to do that but its an offense a sin against the Lord. Not only that but its a WIDE open door for the demons to come and sift you. With venting comes slander, gossip, impatience, anger, division and many others to bring your demise or destroy that relationship/friendship. Imagine quickly, the many times Jesus had the opportunity to be offended the best example was when HE KNEW  Judas would betray him but still never uttered his name to the other disciples, complained about him to the Father or treated him any different. So if Jesus could protect, love and show grace to someone HE KNEW was already going to betray him then why cant we. When we find ourselves offended by something someone does especially a close friend because when we repeat the matter it sows seeds against that person and now everyone you vented too has a bad perception of that person that they didn’t have before.
So next time you feel justified to vent or repeat an offense:

  1. Vent to  Jesus– He is the ONLY one who is able to do anything about it, the ONLY one who sees from a just perspective and not your perspective or the other person in loved. He is also is the best listener and the best person to tell secret feelings too lol because he heals your heart then calls you higher which always leads to repentance
  2. Don’t go on social media indirectly talking about that situation or person….you just look like a fool and you open a demonic door
  3. Whatever you do don’t, don’t, tell another friend because that’s where it becomes gossip and don’t think you can be slick by telling about the situation but not mentioning the name lol. The Lord know exactly who you are talking about and its offense before him

Venting and or repeating an offense to someone else honestly shows the lack of love in our hearts and our unwillingness to show grace. When the Lord gives us soooo much grace when we mess up and offend him. He says,  in Hebrews 8:12 our sins are forgiven never to be remembered again. If you find yourself reading this and recognize you too have a problem with this hidden sin then congrats your a mess like me! lol So lets repent and ask the Lord to give us the grace to walk in a greater love and forgive all offenses never to repeat them in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

Spiritual Muscles Are Grown In The Fire

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The Lord indeed uses temptation, trials, problems, tribulation, the valleys of life, the wilderness and the fire to grow our spiritual muscles……just so he can then give us a crown of beauty instead of ashes

 James 1:1-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Many Christians cry out for the fire of God. We ask the Lord to fill us with his fire, consume us with his fire, set us on fire and when the fire comes we…..run in fear, in confusion, in hurt and complaint. (or am I just talking to myself  lol) I would tell the lord that in my prayer time as I would look at the apostles of old who where endowed with power when the fire of the Holy Spirit came upon them or seeing many of his servants who are so consumed with the fire of his love that they walk in such a beautiful intimacy with him. I just didn’t comprehend the fire would be so hot at times and comes to not really set us on fire but to BURN EVERYTHING IN US THAT IS NOT OF HIM.  This season has indeed been a time in the fiery furnace and the more I walk with Jesus I recognize that the purification process its just that a process. Its not a one time thing but continuous testing of our love for our God and our neighbor in every season I believe one way or the other.

However, what I am recognizing why the Lord tells us to count it joy is that not only is it an opportunity to become more intimate with him in these trials because we run to him and to be purified but once we get out of self pity, the complaining, and the pain of it he would like to teach us how to walk through the fire. Equipping us with lessons, and strategic strategy against the enemy. Trials equip us for Spiritual Warfare and grow our spiritual muscles. Just as when you work out the more resistance you have the more your muscles grow and become stronger. However, anyone who works out knows when you began to work out with resistance your muscles began to tear, it burns, the next day your muscles are so sore and when they rebuild they are stronger than they were before. That’s how trials are for believers, when the Lord allows the enemy to bring resistance, it tears sometimes our very foundation, it can shake your whole world apart but the Lord allows it to tear down in us what is not of him, to shake our fragile foundation in order to build upon it the rock. The fire never consumes us even though many times it feels like that but it comes to refine and purify us.

I love what this Pastor said just yesterday when I went to my sisters bible study he reference Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship and conjunction with 2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. That when we offer our bodies as a living sacrifice that means to die to ourselves as the Lord test and tries us and the fire of God comes to burn out the chaff in us and kill our flesh completely and as we burn which is all SELF..self esteem, self confidence, self opinion, self will, self-pride, self help we than become a sweet aroma., pleasing to the Lord.

So I don’t know about you but the word of God says if one suffers we are all suffering in the body. So I believe many others are going through fiery trials right now, you may be asking the Lord why me, I cant take it any longer, Lord deliver me, but I am learning that when fiery trials come the weapon of our warfare is PRAISE AND WORSHIP…truly. That’s the weapon of choice, counting it joy. Lord can you please give us the grace to see from your perspective through our trials and sing our way through the fire as David did so many time. So be encouraged my fellow brethren, you are in training don’t run from the process but be steadfast and preserver! Praying for you all

-From Jesus with love

 

Jesus Is Saying, “Honey I am Home….”

Jesus in a house

” Honey I am Home”…. a popular phrase that was coined by a tv show in the 1990’s that has come back to me this week during my alone time with the Lord. As he reminds me many times throughout the day Nana, Honey I am Home’. When I get too caught up with distractions or busyness of this life that can so easily take my heart and mind off my sweet bridegroom. Who is waiting on me to break away from the world just so I can come into the chambers of my heart to be with him, where he dwells. Indeed our bodies, our hearts are his home where he desires to dine with us, be with us in a very real way.

Revelation 3:20
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

Many people are desiring intimacy with Jesus but, it will cost you. It will cost you giving up the many “so called good” things of this world that re impure and filthy in the Lords eyes. He is looking for a pure heart to dwell in. A heart that has made room for him to live and glean consolations from. The many “good” things seem harmless to us but to the Lord its sinful, offensive, toxic and unholy. We have to recognize that Jesus lives within us what we eat, watch, listen too, what we do is also done to him because his spirit dwells in our temples which is our bodies. So every time you sit down to watch that movie Jesus is watching it, when you listen to that worldly song Jesus is hearing it, when you eat food that is so unhealthy to your body Jesus is eating it, when you talk about others, gossip, slander, cast judgement Jesus hears it all.  We serve a  God who is holy and desires that we are holy as well so he may dwell in us at a greater capacity.

Matthew 25: 1:5
At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.
 Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

If you have heard the story of the 10 Virgins that is a perfect example of 5 brides who carried the oil of intimacy and 5 who once where intimate but, fell asleep. We can liken that to the times we are living in where many were once on fire for the Lord and have now fallen to sleep in lukewarmness. Jesus is looking for a temple, a body, a heart, a bride whose home is committed to purity. That just like a real husband who is headed home from a long days work would want his home to be his safe haven. A wife who has kept up the house, has dinner ready and waiting upon her husband to pamper him and love on him. What man wouldn’t want to come home everyday to that! lol Jesus is the exact same way. He is so very real with a deep deep desire and longing for his brides.  His eyes search the whole world and after enduring a long day of eternal work, a long day of being rejected, blasphemed, spoken again, ignored and taking advantage of by so many other souls in the world. He rushes back to his bride who is burning with an oil of intimacy, He rushes to the chamber of the hearts of those who are commitment to purity, from sin of this world, who always keep their thoughts and mind on him by making a throne room in their hearts for him to sit after a longs day work. A bride who is ready to sit at his feet in prayer at any moment when he calls for her. He longs to hear and smell the sweet fragrance of  her worship and praise because no man wants a nagging complaining wife not even Jesus! Now to that bride when he calls he simply says “Honey I am Home”!

Will you allow your heart to truly be the resting place for Jesus? Commit yourself to purity so our bridegroom can have another place he can call his Heaven on Earth!

-From Jesus With Love

Still Small Voice Youtube Channel/ Heartdwellers Ministery
Message Jesus Answers His Bride How To Hear & See Me
“I know. Oh, how I love each and every one that is seeking Me. That is why I am here to explain the direction they need to take. You know the things that offend Me. Sin offends Me very much. Sin in clothing, or lack of it, sin in violence, crime, hatred, gossip, backbiting, jealousy, adulteries. Soap operas are the epitome of sin and extremely noxious to Me. Like your-nose-in-fresh-dog-excrement noxious. I mean very, very bad. These things not only offend Me but also the Heavenly court, the angels and the saints. Yet in your world they are matter-of-fact, part of everyday life.

“How can I embrace a Bride, when her mind is full of filth such as this? These things have half- lives, they linger and linger and linger. Over and over again I must see these things as they are recalled to your memory.

“Do you understand, “Blessed are the pure for they shall see God.”? Do you now understand why so many cannot find Me in their prayers? Yes, seek Me until you find Me, but first, clean your house. Come to Me clean, create a throne room in your heart that is undefiled with the filth of this world. And I must say it is not only filth, but worldliness that is offensive to Me.

“Carnal preoccupations with cooking, sewing, decorating, buying, selling, having this and having that. Shopping. Wanting this and wanting that. Oh, those idols are detestable to Me and when I find that kind of clutter in a heart, I want to run the other way. And when I see that a soul prefers that to My company, well… My heart collapses in sadness. Oh, how could you prefer these worthless idols to Me, how could you?”

When The Lord Allows A Fall…..A Hard One

fall-into-him

 

Wheew, I cant describe how these past few week have been….very painful for starters. I found myself with my peace completely gone, anxious, fearful, hopeless, pride, confusion and in continuous doubt and unbelief. None of these are the fruits of the spirit by the way  which is Galatians 5:23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”. I knew that I was under attack, I knew that I was being sifted by the enemy but I didn’t know I was under correction until after a few days of humbling myself in Gods presence he gave me:

Proverbs 3:11 -12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.[a]

 

Ouch! I had fallen and fallen hard. The Lord reveled to me it was because of me speaking against his servants, other Christians and even ministers. At first I objected (do you see how much pride I have slap to the face) As if God is not all knowing but I really had to examine my heart. I truly try to make a conscious decision not to entertain gossip or speaking against people. However, the Lord showed me these past few weeks many instances happened which looked a certain way and because it looked so clear to me I then began to cast judgment on others, become accusatory, critical, and suspicious of motives. We all know only the Lord can judge the motives and because I was repeating these things to others I made it even worse by spreading this poison which seemed so valid to me. I also had judged people in my heart and reacted out of my flesh many times getting defensive, combative thinking they were in the wrong.

Now many Christians today don’t believe that God being so good can allow bad things to happen to us. However, this scripture above explains it all when we walk in sin the Lord protection is removed and he will allow the enemy to sift us which in turns brings us back running to his feet. Its a chastening alright a painful one, but a lesson I promise you will never forget. Not only that but,  you will learn from so that you may be able to help others.

So I didn’t realize it but my soul, my heart was in a mess. I no longer stood in purity before the Lord even if others couldn’t notice it. I had no idea how far I had wandered off from the Lord and recognizing how suttle Satan had been in his snares he had set up for me. He used old memories to replay in my mind that looked just like the circumstance I was in so I automatically judged people assuming  the motives where the same as my old memories. They had to be right, the old memories and my situation looked so parallel and familiar. However I discerned out of my fear rather than seeking the Lord to see his perspective and found out the real motives.

Pslam 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Man that is exactly what Jesus did and I  failed and fell hard but in the kingdom every failure is an amazing lesson. If you humble yourself and yield to be made willing to the Lord will. He will restore you , heal you and strengthen you. So I am now undergoing a healing and deliverance process. Where the Lord is uprooting many things in my heart like bitterness, self righteous spirit, fear, insecurity, jealousy, root of rejection, and anxiety. So that I may be whole again walking in true freedom and purity of heart before him an others. I am not ashamed to say I have sinned against God and my brethren but I love that where sin abounds Gods grace abounds even more. In his wonderful mercy he saved me by allowing a fall to bring me to my face at his feet. Where he has been there to comfort, correct and teach me his ways again like a child I am.
So if you find yourself in the same feelings ask youself have you offended God in anyway. Search your heart and quietly examine it then come before the Lord in repentance. He is there to bind and heal your wounds too. Be encouraged!

-From Jesus With Love

 

But all of you My Children must learn to fall gracefully and get up graciously restored by My forgiveness and by the way My antidote for your error. Do not be afraid to look at a situation and say, “I made a mistake.” Because when you get up you will be that much more informed and skillful in the ways of discernment. There can be no growth without error. A soul must have the freedom to make a mistake and be fully reinstated. A soul cannot grow if they avoid the possibility of making an error. I want you all to grow in discernment, that’s why I make it so easy for Clare to recover herself after an error. I want you to be free to blow it without loosing anything in My eyes. If your eyes are on men, you will not want to admit a failure…because you know what men do to people who aren’t perfect. They expose and tare them down.

-Jesus
(from Still Small Voice Youtube Channel message: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break)

Renewing My Vows

20140303-Renewal-vows

 

I am hearing His whisper….
Today you will renew your vows to Me. I will cause you to remember those words you spoke to Me when I first unveiled My love in Your heart. You said to Me that you will love Me and serve Me and go with Me where I lead you.
Today you will renew that vow to Me. And you will know that I am in You, even as you are in Me. I am energized to show you My love as you renew your passion to do My will. There is a work ready for you to do, good works that will bring Me much glory.
You are ready, for I have prepared you. The only thing that now remains is that you fasten Your heart to Mine and come with Me. I will revive your soul until your life overflows with My goodness. Many will see and trust in Me as your life presents My fullness to others.
I will cause the veil to drop in front of you and you will gaze upon mysteries you have never seen before. You will see what angels see and feel the fire of My passion.
What I will reveal to you cannot be learned by books or through the instructions of men. I, Myself, will make your heart to know Me and understand My ways. The preparation I am calling you is this: renew your vows of love to Me today and I will show you things that will change you forever.

– Passion Translation

“I have fallen, I have fallen and I can’t get up”…..this has been the cry of my heart this season. Woooo………. it has been a whirl wind of battle after battle that I continuously failed; because I allowed my flesh and emotions to get in the way of what the Lord was trying to do. Which was to grow me more in virtue and character to resemble him as his bride. I didn’t realize how miserably I had failed until I found myself brokenhearted, wounded, utterly discouraged, weary and looking back to see the many missed opportunities where I could’ve responded like him….in LOVE.

Instead I had allowed seeds of resentment, bitterness, unforgivness to fall in my heart. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my peace, my joy, and even my hope. I had indeed fallen and wasnt sure how to get up anymore. I began to have pride swell in my heart as I questioned Gods ways, wanting to have understanding and feeling entitled too a different path of MY CHOICE and not the one he had laid out for me, because it was so uncomfortable and painful. I thought to myself,  of course this has to be wrong and MY WAY has to be right. ( I got God figured out right) ?WRONG!. I  was frustrated as I continued to worry instead of trust, and question instead of seeking his face for clarity.

What made things worse in light of all of these things was that my weakness was put on  display for others to see. As the enemy would push sensitive buttons over and over again and as I would react in my flesh over and over again. I began to despise my weakness and cried out to the Lord to heal me, fix me but what I love about Jesus is that he is not like a man at all. He gently picked me up in prayer, held me to his chest so tightly and allowed me to be there. Without any words his love would wash over me and he understood perfectly every fiber of my being, he understood perfectly every pain and torment I was going through, he understood perfectly my wants and needs that only he could fulfill. As I felt him say in my heart  ” Beloved don’t despise your weakness or be ashamed for others to see it. In fact boast in your weakness so my grace would be perfected in you. I made you just the way you are in your weakness so you could rely on me even more. Your weakness calls you to intimacy with me”

So this weekend I told the Lord I want to get away with him. I am desperate for his presence and to hear his words of truth to wash away the lies and labels I incurred. I am in need of his balm of Gilead to be poured out upon my heart to heal and strengthen me and his words of wisdom to give me clarity and direction in this season of my life. So 3 1/2 years into our relationship I am going to renew my vows again to Jesus. I am going to empty myself of all I think I know, of all I have been taught and sit at his feet like a child to be taught all over again.  I need him to rekindle the fire of my love so I may continue this journey with the same passion and love for his will in my life. I believe as his bride its so important we do this from time to time. We can begin to get so casual with our relationship with Jesus that we sometimes lose our way and fall….not knowing how to get back up, but we thank God that he runs to pick us up and is still willing to continue this journey with us!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

,unashamed

 

Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love