Heroic Humility

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2 Samuel 16:5-13

As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”

10 But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.

What is Heroic Humility?  I am finding that out in this season which has been riddled with much criticism and assaults, I can either take offense or see it as an opportunity that the Lord is using to humble me. However, I am learning from a little saint called St. Therese of Lisieux how to go about that.  Heroic Humility is the desire to be humiliated and to receive all insults, criticism, curses and judgments with JOY knowing that it is the Lord permitting it! Now, can I say that has been a feat lol. During my prayer time I sought the Lord to get a daily word from him last week and twice the Holy Spirit gave me “heroic humility’ in her devotional as its stated

HEROIC HUMILITY (devotional)

“The novices [too whom she gave spiritual direction] praise me. It is not flattery. They believe what they say. It does not make me vain for the knowledge of my wretchedness never leaves me. But sometimes my soul sickens of too sweet a diet. It is then that Jesus gives me a nice little salad dressing of vinegar and spice sans Olive oil. God raises the veil which hides may imperfections, and my dear little sisters then no longer find me quite  their liking. With a simplicity I find charming, they tell me what a trial I am to them and what they find unpleasant about me. They stand on no ceremony, for they know that their freedom of speak delights me. It is actually more than delight. It is like a wonderful festival which overwhelms me with joy. If had not experienced it, could not believe that something so against one natural feelings could afford such happiness. Once when I was passionately longing to be humiliated, a young postulate did it so effectively that I remember when Shimei used David and I read the words of the holy king; “Yea, it is the Lord who hath bidden him say all these things”

-St Therese of Lisieux

Since, moving here to this prayer community the Lord has a lot many insults to be hurdled my way wether it be online, through family members or even members of this community. We are all definitely not perfect and are learning the way of perfection through brotherly love as we are climbing that mountain of holiness. Many we times we can step on each others toes but its all about our response to one another. In the world we are taught to defend ourselves, to respond back with sharp words and to let others know when they offend us but when the Lord is leading you into a way of “heroic humility” his desire that you “submit to everyone and allow others to trample on you” that is true humility. Just as Jesus was the perfect example for us all who turned the other cheek, and led like a sheep to the slaughter with defamation of character, physical blows, insults, betrayals, curses, being spit on, was cheated, accused, and gossiped about. You name it he endured it all in perfect silence and yielded to the Fathers will.

We live in a christian culture that actually contradicts this way of the Gospel many times where we are taught to distance ourselves from those who hurt us but pray for them. Rather Jesus has chastised me to ” Not take offense or repeat offense”. He has made me to understand that when I take an offense against my brethren I am indeed offended by him for he permits every trial, every circumstance and every word someone speaks or does against me. We forget and really don’t have confidence in the Lords divine providence. That he is is in control of EVERYTHING and allows EVERYTHING even the bad. So its a grave offense in his eyes when we  get offended at one another and worse repeat it thereby spreading seeds of discord among brethren because the person you share that offense with now has a seed of criticism planted in their heart against the person who offended you. Its opens the demonic door for everyone and leads to much gossip, resentment and eventually bitterness taking root in the heart of everyone.

 

The Lord is calling us to humble ourselves to see ourselves in his mirror for who we truly are. Wretched sinners, full of judgment and evil thoughts ourselves which we may not say out loud but in our hearts, who are in need of his desperate grace and mercy. Pride(Self-love, the flesh) is what causes us to rise up to defend, to correct, to get angry and take offense which will always contend with the virtue the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us Humility.  I believe the Lord is wanting to raise up many of his brides to walk in heroic humility. Brides who don’t desire the praise of men but are actually looking forward to the insults and criticism of others with joy because  BLESSED ARE YOU!

Matthew 5:11-12
11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Furthermore, how blessed are you if people insult you justly or so all manner of things against you that may be right but in humility you receive it all in silence from the hand of of the Lord as King David did. Oh Lord, give us the grace to have heroic humility, to allow ourselves to be made fools for Christ and to even desire to be humbled by you when life gets too sweet and many are singing the praises of our name. Give us the desire to be humbled and even a greater grace to not take offense or repeat offense. We ask this in Jesus name we pray Amen!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

The Lesson I Learned From My 4yr Old Neices Tantrum

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It was just last week that my niece threw one of her worst tantrum’s I have yet to see, “NO'”..”no”…”no” to everything. To say the least it was a very long and rough day. Any parent who has a toddler or a young child has experienced this one way or another. I am not a parent yet but, indeed the Lord is training me with these little ones as I watch them all week and do my best to teach them about Jesus in the midst of it all.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

So the day was going  fine until I began to give her instruction like picking up after herself, sharing with her sister, and not screaming around.  One little tantrum, turned too two, then three. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs in tears crying because she didn’t want to do what I asked. I really don’t like to spank unless I have too and I found myself withdrawing more and more to anger. I was really didn’t want to spank her but after the third time of her screaming at the top of her lungs “nooo” when I asked to pick up the toys. I spanked her then she just began to scream even more at this point I had to put her in the room for time out as she began to roll around the floor kicking and screaming.
As I was getting her 2 year old sister together to eat again she came crying out of the room and at that point I told her to go back because of her bad behavior. Then she threw herself on the floor again, screaming and crying and crying and screaming. As she got up she went to go and get the diaper bag from the couch and poured all the items out throwing things everywhere. At this point I had ENOUGH and went to give her 2 more spankings in the room as I told her “I loved her but had to spank her because she was misbehaving and had  she had too stay in the room.” As soon as I closed the door she began to scream again, this time I heard things being thrown against the door and the mirror I was in shock. Like perfect timing my mom walked in to take her and her sister home before I could yell or spank her again. I was flabbergasted to say the least and told my mom what she had done and was doing. My mom was so tired and told them just to get their shoes and come. So she came out of the room crying and left with my mom. Which left me fuming inside as I told my other sister what she had done, and how bad she had been. I had so much anger still in my heart towards what had just took place. So in the evening during my communion or I call it the “Lords Supper” I began to feel awful for my attitude towards her in my heart and asked the Lord to forgive me for not being more gentle. Also for holding so much anger towards a little 4 year old lol but, I knew he would grant me his mercy and patience to do it better the next day. You would think that however, I found myself that morning when she came to give me a hug there was a little something lingering in my heart towards her now. It was, could I believe “resentment”. I was holding onto what had happened the day before against her in my heart. I couldn’t believe it and tried to shake it off just as I was feeding them breakfast she spoke up and taught  the biggest lesson on childlike forgiveness.   I found myself being slightly cold towards her than usual then she said “Nasane” I want to say sorry for my attitude yesterday I was just having a bad day”. I was in shock, and felt so humbled as I asked who told you to say that? She then said “I spoke to my mom about it”.” At that point I felt so embarrassed as a grown up, as a suppose “woman of God” that the Lord used this little 4 year old lovely little girl to teach me on childlike forgiveness and letting go. That Christ like forgiveness that doesn’t hold on to the past nor to any memory to harbor resentment.

I then had my sister text me later that day to ask if  Naomi apologized and I mentioned to her she had. My sister went on to say that in the morning she woke up and they talked about. She sent me a text saying “told her to apologize and let you  know that she was having a bad day that’s it lol it but She said” she knows God was watching so she asked for His forgiveness in her room” All I could do was laugh and be humbled at the same time as we both had gone before the Lord repenting of our lack of charity before one another but she was more humble to come and confess her wrong as I held on too resentment of what she had done. Well, the Lord truly has lessons set up for me everyday and the greatest lesson I am learning and continue to learn is through this little precious girls whom I get to love and many many times thinking I am pouring into but they are truly pouring into me as well.  Thank you Jesus
-From Jesus With Love

LOVE IN ACTION
Romans 12:9-10
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

-From Jesus With Love

Swimming In the Ocean Of Gods Mercy

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Isaiah 30:18

So the Lord wants to show you kindness. He waits on high to have loving-pity on you. For the Lord is a God of what is right and fair. And god will come to all those who hope in Him

The Lord just gave me this scripture after falling again…(sigh) just right after I got out of prayer with him and gave me scriptures on Obedience. I was telling the Lord man you are humbling me I cant seem to go an hour without a fall Lord . So instead of running from him I ran to him and received Mercy. Oh how kind and sweet our God is indeed if we just run to him.  I have been asking the Lord to humble me and he has indeed doing that where he is really revealing all my hidden sins and struggles which causes me not to even think to judge others or walk in pride because I see how weak I am and indeed of his mercy so that i may give others mercy as well.

Luke 6:36
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

This past week I have found myself falling in every way and every day in faultfinding, quick tempered, impatient and even gossip under the guise of “lets pray for them” lol You know we have all been there and done that which is an offense before the Lord. You see I prayed for the lord to purify my heart and he has been doing just that where I am able to feel it…yes I feel heat on my back and pain in my body when I have fallen which is a grace and a gift he allows. Which I believe he has given to many of his other brides to keep us spiritually healthy and in check. It causes me to run to him immediately with this wonderful (trying not to be sarcastic here…Lord forgive me) answered pray the Lord has given me. I found myself being taunted by the enemy that it seemed I couldn’t do anything right, I began to feel so down and discouraged almost to the point of hopelessness. However, after having a conversation with a friend she reminded me that it was great the Lord has really called me to purity and I am always willing to confess even the littlest offenses to others which gives her room to d the same but it seems like I dwell there. That I didn’t need to dwell there, yes I had fallen but the Lord had already made a way for all my sins, so confess , repent and move forward. I am not sure why something clicked in that moment and decided I wouldn’t allow the enemy to continue to use my faults against me any longer

 

In prayer the Lord showed me the most beautiful image of me just swimming, more like floating in this beautiful crystal clear pristine VAST ocean as the sun was kissing my face. I was in pure joy and the Holy spirit said ” You are swimming in the ocean of Gods mercy”. Many times the enemy will use our faults against us especially those the Lord has called to intimacy because we so want to please him in everything we do and can be devastated when we sin against him but, the Lord was reminded me of his mercy.

Mercy:

noun
 1.compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

power to punish or harm.

Somewhere along the way I had taken my eyes of Jesus and so much on my weakness that I have forgotten He always makes a way available for us all and that is his mercy. The Ocean of Gods mercy is endless, never ending, so peaceful, so filled with love and readily available for all those who humble themselves and boldly come before their Fathers throne to receive it. I am definitely in a season of swimming in the Ocean of Gods Mercy as I continue to be tested tried, fall, repent receive mercy to be tested again. If it wasnt for his mercy I am not sure where I would be….well maybe I do lol Jesus is so tender is so patience in the midst of this that I felt him say in my heart yesterday “its okay, tomorrow is another day just try to do better tomorrow” just to fall again….

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What does Jesus have to say….”Beloved, its okay tomorrow is another day try to do better tomorrow walk in obedience to my every word and you will have peace as you continue to swim in the Ocean of my mercy, I love you my dove, oh how I love you. Don’t be discouraged by your weakness but continue to boast in them as you bring them before me so I can strengthen you with more graces”. So if you find yourself struggling with your weaknesses and sin before Lord don’t run away from him but jump, jump, JUMP into the Ocean of his mercy which is readily available for you, He loves you!

-From Jesus with Love