God Do You See Me

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The God who sees

The God who knows you

The God who created you

The God who formed you

Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the Lord who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel;

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

For the past two days this scripture has been going through my mind and heart as I began to really meditate deeply on each word, each sentence over and over again allowing it to sink deeply in my heart. That this was not just a prophecy that Isaiah was speaking to Israel nor was it just for our for Father Jacob but this scripture was meant for me…for you. The Lord is speaking directly to me and to everyone of his children who have felt forgotten, rejected, and even worthless. This all began after watching the amazing TV sereis “ The Chosen” which I encourage all believers to watch and to please share with everyone. It has touched my heart in way that I can’t explain. It’s a sereis about the life of Jesus, I know some maybe reading this and thinking yea we have seen so many Jesus movies but, this one is different. The writing is so impeciable that it has to be truly Holy Spiirt inspired and heavenly indeed. It depicts not only the life of Jesus but, his heart, personality, character also that of all the apostles and their lives before encountering Jesus. You get to know each one, their own stories and life who they were and how they became different after meeting the Messiah.  It draws you in so deeply, and the first season leaves you hanging for so much more. 

The first episode introduces Matthew, Simon Peter , Andrew, Nicodemus and the main character of the episode Mary Magdalene. It shows her life in despair not only by being a prostitue by the name of “lilith” but dealing with demonic manifistations that cause her to go into spells where the demons attack people. It shows her in the beginning as a small girl , innocent and scared ccoming to her father who remindes her to recite Isaiah 43:1 anytime she is afriad. She has a doll that she is holding and now older has kept that doll and tries to recite the prayers after the demonic spell but to no avial  she tares the prayer up and throws it in the water. She becomes hopeless and was about to commit sucicde then Jesus comes. As she enters a tavern drinking a concution to num her from the pain Jesus, the Messiah appears seemingly out of no where telling her that she doesn’t have to do that any more. The demons within her want to run from Jesus so she asked Him to leave her alone and begans to walk out of the tavern. Jesus follows her out and calls her by her real name “Mary of Magdala”. She is utter shock and says who are you and he recites Isiah 43:1….Thus says the Lord who created you…
It ends with her breaking in tears in his arms as he frees her from all the demons.

This scene has replayed over and over in my mind. I have never been a prostitue or raped but, how I can relate to Mary Magdalene if we were honest we all can. I was once a girl who was hurt by the world and striving to be seen. I was once a girl who was afraid, felt so forgotten by God and thought my prayers fell on empty ears. I was once a a girl tormented by demonic attacks, so fearful of the dark and thought the demons had power over me. I was once a girl who was insecure and wasn’t happy with who I was. I was once a girl who felt hopeless thinking “this is the story of my life” nothing would ever change as certain cycles would happen over and over again.  THEN I MET HIM, I MET JESUS and just one look my way changed everything.

It was through my first prophetic word from my cousin October 2014 after 29 years of living life for myself, praying empty prayers, crying out to the Lord but not seeing any manifestation when she said “God has not forgotten you…help is on the way”  with tears in my eyes that I realized “He sees me”. He had heard every cry of my heart before then, had heard every prayer and catched every tear, he saw me. Then after that I made a decision to give my life to him fully surrendering Jan 1, 2015 telling him I was afraid to give him complete control but, I would if he wanted it then immeaditely my phone dinged with a notification which happened to be the bible verse of the day 

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid for I am your God, Don’t be discouraged for I am with you. I am here to help you and strengthen you. I will lift you up victoriously with my right hand

“He saw me again and answered me” I was in tears, God sees me. You beloved one, reading this God sees you too, he hears you, He is right there with you, and he will never leave you. Since seeing this episode my heart has been burden for the many who feel forgotten by God the many who don’t realize how personal and familiar he is in our day to day lives. He is God who does life with us and he is speaking all the time but, many don’t recognize it. As we tend to base on our relationship with God on how are lives are going rather than who He is. Hagar is great example being some one of a lower class in her time, a servant to Sarah, Abraham wife and not only that but his mistress who bore Ishmael. Who wasn’t even the promised child but when Sarah got upset with Hagar and jealous kicking her and Ishamel out of the house God saw her and met her where she was at.In the wilderness with a hungry child who was dying, a servant, low income, of no worth in the eyes of the world, a mistress, with a bastard child yet God saw her and heard her cry and delivered her. As she cried out “He is the God who sees”

Genesis 16:13
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

I don’t know what is going on in your life, or who the world has labled you to be. You may be of no worth in the eyes of the world, your peers, your family, your loved one or even your spouse. You may feel so alone, hurting so bad, tormented even but I am here to tell you that God sees you beloved. He knows you by name, He created you and formed every detail of your being. From the number of hairs on your head, to that that figure you don’t like so much, to that nose you complain about to that character flaw you wish you could get rid of, to that heart only He can see and repair. Yes my beloved one, He knows you by name, so don’t fear anymore. Don’t fear the storm that is surrounding you, don’t fear the past that you regret or the future that you cannot see, don’t fear being alone because He will always be with you. He has redeemed every detail of your life and you are his. Before the foundation of the world, yes, the Holy One of Israel, Jesus Christ breathed you from his heart  and sent you into this world. And the day you were born he told all of heaven and earth “THIS ONE, IS MINE”. You are His beloved and he has great things in store for you don’t give up He loves you. Help is on the way…God sees you.

-From Jesus With Love

The Lord is My Shepherd….and He Leads Me His Way

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The Lord put it on our hearts for us all to watch “Tortured for Christ” Voice of the Martyr’s movie which tells of true story of Richard Wurmbrandin Romania when they were taken over by the communist. Many Christians were put into prison camps tortured, and died for their faith in Jesus. Towards the end of the movie there was a young man who was on his death bed sick with TB and he was talking to Richard and said that the scriptures had never been more real until now and he is okay that his shepherd had led him to a lie in sick bed so if that was the Lords will he would accept it. He died giving his medication to Richard so that he may live. At that moment Psalm 23 I had what you would call an epiphany with that scripture. This young man truly understood what it meant for the Lord to be his shepherd when many of us Christians still struggle with that today.

I am one of them as I learn to let go and trust the Lord to lead me and lay me down wherever he wills.  Many times when you read that scripture or even look up images for that psalm you see a shepherd or Jesus with sheep in lush green pastures but it hit me that wherever God lays you down is indeed green pastures.  Alot of the time we have our preconceived notations about what the Lord should do with us, how he should do it and where he should place us but this young man understand. That in a communist prison, on a sick bed about to die that the good shepherd had led him there. It was the devils plan, an attack or a witch (especially if your African) lol. However, I believe he had finally come to peace that he was one of Gods sheep and he was in complete control of his life whether good or bad.

When the Lord led me to leave my beautiful apartment to come back to my mothers house to babysit my nieces. I never thought to consider this my pasture for the mean time. I mean there have been some valley moments be He has led me here. So in fact the Lord is saying where ever he lays you down is green pastures. In green pastures the sheep find rest, our fed, our protected, our refreshed, and our taken care of. One may ask how can sickness, suffering, not having your own place be green pasture when all around things seem so bleak. However, I realize in this place  I have been equipped, humbled, broken, healed, found my rest in the Lord, fed from his Heart, protected, refreshed and taken care of. He has led me in his way not my way.

So where my beloved fellow sheep  has the Lord led you? What does your green pasture look like? To some it may not look like the pasture or seem so green but indeed the Lord, our good shepherd has led you there to lay for a season and even when we are in the valley we need to not fear for he is even nearer. Don’t give up because if you do you may never reach that table that he has already set, and prepared for you to sit in the presence of your enemies that you may be a testimony of someone who trusted, had faith and believed in your shepherd. When others didn’t understand where he was leading you too, you never wandered from his staff and rod.

-From Jesus With Love

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

 

 

 

“I AM Shaped By Every Word HE says”

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The song ” I AM NO VICTIM’ from Bethel by Kristene DiMarco has been ringing through my head today even this morning when I got up. I knew it had to be the Holy Spirit and indeed it was for the words are so simple yet, so powerful. In this season,the battle and the fiery trials have been ferocious  as I have  been facing many challenges and things that have tested my faith like never before. Many times I have fallen, many, many times but, in Gods mercy he has picked me back up with his chords of loving kindness. Giving me the grace and courage to forge ahead. I didn’t realize that I was beginning to allow the trials to shape me rather than allowing the fire to refine me and Gods words to shape me. You see the Lord would warn me about fiery trials ahead so I would be prepared and be victorious in my response. However, I would find myself full of fear and anxiety. You see the Lord puts us through fiery trials to refine to clean up everything impure with in us.

Zechariah 13:9
The Lord highlighted this word to me today that I released in 2016. I am feeling this word very strongly for many right now. Be encouraged!

How many times I have prayed that specific prayer. Lord burn everything in me that is not of you, consume me with the fire of your love but when I found myself in the fire I would easily become discouraged and allowing what I was going through to shape me rather then Gods fire to refine me.  So that is where I have found myself utterly downcast, wounded, easily offended, sensitive to remarks against me, feeling rejected and alone.  When the Lord reminds me  in a rehma

”  Do not fear the reproach of man nor be terrified by their insults rather pray for them  for they are scourging me”

Even knowing the enemy will use the closest people around you to shoot his arrows with their words , God uses the closest people to refine you in charity. That when the arrows come you would respond in love and how difficult that has been for me if I may be honest. Through these trials many arrows in my identity have been attacked and I found myself doubting even believing some of them concerning my role in leadership feeling of  not good enough, in friendship going thru betrayals, in relationships feelings of insecurity, in my relationship with Lord feeling judged by others.  I would find myself looking for someone, a loved one I could run too, a confidant who would understand , who would comfort me but found no one….and I should find no one because Jesus is all of these. I found myself running back to him where I should’ve gone too in the first place as he began to impress on my heart..WHO DO I SAY THAT YOU ARE?

Jesus calls me

The anointed one,
His Servant who he has chosen
He has known me before the foundation of the earth
He has redeemed me and I AM his and He is mine
I am his beloved
I bring him delight
I AM beautiful
I share in his promises and have his divine nature
I AM a peacemaker
I AM  a concquery
I AM a gift , a pearl of great price that he has won
I AM  an intercessor
I have the gift of dancing on the devils head with my prayer and intercession
I AM his Warrior Bride
I AM Bold and Courageous like Joshua, a strong leader
The demons HATE that I never give up
I was created to dance in the fire
I AM Fearless and Brave
I AM Jesus’s Hotmess
I Am a laid down lover
I AM a priest
I AM a teacher
I AM a Disciple
I AM loved
I AM Forgiven
I AM not alone
I AM protected
I AM not rejected but accepted
I AM a child, a daughter of the King
I AM  betrothed to the most powerful person in all the universe and he has given me authority
I have Greatness ahead of me
I AM a Holy Saint
I AM NO VICTIM!
He is crazy in love with me with all my weakness
He calls me his own very lowly tool of salvation

…..as the lyrics too Kristene Di Marco songs “I AM NO VICTIM” rings in my head

[Bridge]
I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says
Oh I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says

So who does God say you are? Allow his words to shape and define you. Not the storm, not the trials and definitely not what others say about you. You are not who they say you are but you are who God says you are!

-From Jesus with love

 

 

 

 

 

Swimming In the Ocean Of Gods Mercy

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Isaiah 30:18

So the Lord wants to show you kindness. He waits on high to have loving-pity on you. For the Lord is a God of what is right and fair. And god will come to all those who hope in Him

The Lord just gave me this scripture after falling again…(sigh) just right after I got out of prayer with him and gave me scriptures on Obedience. I was telling the Lord man you are humbling me I cant seem to go an hour without a fall Lord . So instead of running from him I ran to him and received Mercy. Oh how kind and sweet our God is indeed if we just run to him.  I have been asking the Lord to humble me and he has indeed doing that where he is really revealing all my hidden sins and struggles which causes me not to even think to judge others or walk in pride because I see how weak I am and indeed of his mercy so that i may give others mercy as well.

Luke 6:36
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

This past week I have found myself falling in every way and every day in faultfinding, quick tempered, impatient and even gossip under the guise of “lets pray for them” lol You know we have all been there and done that which is an offense before the Lord. You see I prayed for the lord to purify my heart and he has been doing just that where I am able to feel it…yes I feel heat on my back and pain in my body when I have fallen which is a grace and a gift he allows. Which I believe he has given to many of his other brides to keep us spiritually healthy and in check. It causes me to run to him immediately with this wonderful (trying not to be sarcastic here…Lord forgive me) answered pray the Lord has given me. I found myself being taunted by the enemy that it seemed I couldn’t do anything right, I began to feel so down and discouraged almost to the point of hopelessness. However, after having a conversation with a friend she reminded me that it was great the Lord has really called me to purity and I am always willing to confess even the littlest offenses to others which gives her room to d the same but it seems like I dwell there. That I didn’t need to dwell there, yes I had fallen but the Lord had already made a way for all my sins, so confess , repent and move forward. I am not sure why something clicked in that moment and decided I wouldn’t allow the enemy to continue to use my faults against me any longer

 

In prayer the Lord showed me the most beautiful image of me just swimming, more like floating in this beautiful crystal clear pristine VAST ocean as the sun was kissing my face. I was in pure joy and the Holy spirit said ” You are swimming in the ocean of Gods mercy”. Many times the enemy will use our faults against us especially those the Lord has called to intimacy because we so want to please him in everything we do and can be devastated when we sin against him but, the Lord was reminded me of his mercy.

Mercy:

noun
 1.compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

power to punish or harm.

Somewhere along the way I had taken my eyes of Jesus and so much on my weakness that I have forgotten He always makes a way available for us all and that is his mercy. The Ocean of Gods mercy is endless, never ending, so peaceful, so filled with love and readily available for all those who humble themselves and boldly come before their Fathers throne to receive it. I am definitely in a season of swimming in the Ocean of Gods Mercy as I continue to be tested tried, fall, repent receive mercy to be tested again. If it wasnt for his mercy I am not sure where I would be….well maybe I do lol Jesus is so tender is so patience in the midst of this that I felt him say in my heart yesterday “its okay, tomorrow is another day just try to do better tomorrow” just to fall again….

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What does Jesus have to say….”Beloved, its okay tomorrow is another day try to do better tomorrow walk in obedience to my every word and you will have peace as you continue to swim in the Ocean of my mercy, I love you my dove, oh how I love you. Don’t be discouraged by your weakness but continue to boast in them as you bring them before me so I can strengthen you with more graces”. So if you find yourself struggling with your weaknesses and sin before Lord don’t run away from him but jump, jump, JUMP into the Ocean of his mercy which is readily available for you, He loves you!

-From Jesus with Love

Renewing My Vows

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I am hearing His whisper….
Today you will renew your vows to Me. I will cause you to remember those words you spoke to Me when I first unveiled My love in Your heart. You said to Me that you will love Me and serve Me and go with Me where I lead you.
Today you will renew that vow to Me. And you will know that I am in You, even as you are in Me. I am energized to show you My love as you renew your passion to do My will. There is a work ready for you to do, good works that will bring Me much glory.
You are ready, for I have prepared you. The only thing that now remains is that you fasten Your heart to Mine and come with Me. I will revive your soul until your life overflows with My goodness. Many will see and trust in Me as your life presents My fullness to others.
I will cause the veil to drop in front of you and you will gaze upon mysteries you have never seen before. You will see what angels see and feel the fire of My passion.
What I will reveal to you cannot be learned by books or through the instructions of men. I, Myself, will make your heart to know Me and understand My ways. The preparation I am calling you is this: renew your vows of love to Me today and I will show you things that will change you forever.

– Passion Translation

“I have fallen, I have fallen and I can’t get up”…..this has been the cry of my heart this season. Woooo………. it has been a whirl wind of battle after battle that I continuously failed; because I allowed my flesh and emotions to get in the way of what the Lord was trying to do. Which was to grow me more in virtue and character to resemble him as his bride. I didn’t realize how miserably I had failed until I found myself brokenhearted, wounded, utterly discouraged, weary and looking back to see the many missed opportunities where I could’ve responded like him….in LOVE.

Instead I had allowed seeds of resentment, bitterness, unforgivness to fall in my heart. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my peace, my joy, and even my hope. I had indeed fallen and wasnt sure how to get up anymore. I began to have pride swell in my heart as I questioned Gods ways, wanting to have understanding and feeling entitled too a different path of MY CHOICE and not the one he had laid out for me, because it was so uncomfortable and painful. I thought to myself,  of course this has to be wrong and MY WAY has to be right. ( I got God figured out right) ?WRONG!. I  was frustrated as I continued to worry instead of trust, and question instead of seeking his face for clarity.

What made things worse in light of all of these things was that my weakness was put on  display for others to see. As the enemy would push sensitive buttons over and over again and as I would react in my flesh over and over again. I began to despise my weakness and cried out to the Lord to heal me, fix me but what I love about Jesus is that he is not like a man at all. He gently picked me up in prayer, held me to his chest so tightly and allowed me to be there. Without any words his love would wash over me and he understood perfectly every fiber of my being, he understood perfectly every pain and torment I was going through, he understood perfectly my wants and needs that only he could fulfill. As I felt him say in my heart  ” Beloved don’t despise your weakness or be ashamed for others to see it. In fact boast in your weakness so my grace would be perfected in you. I made you just the way you are in your weakness so you could rely on me even more. Your weakness calls you to intimacy with me”

So this weekend I told the Lord I want to get away with him. I am desperate for his presence and to hear his words of truth to wash away the lies and labels I incurred. I am in need of his balm of Gilead to be poured out upon my heart to heal and strengthen me and his words of wisdom to give me clarity and direction in this season of my life. So 3 1/2 years into our relationship I am going to renew my vows again to Jesus. I am going to empty myself of all I think I know, of all I have been taught and sit at his feet like a child to be taught all over again.  I need him to rekindle the fire of my love so I may continue this journey with the same passion and love for his will in my life. I believe as his bride its so important we do this from time to time. We can begin to get so casual with our relationship with Jesus that we sometimes lose our way and fall….not knowing how to get back up, but we thank God that he runs to pick us up and is still willing to continue this journey with us!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

When The Arrows Hit,Head Into Triage

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Proverbs 18:10
The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

 

Jesus began
“what I am wanting to stress to all of you right now, is that there is a particularly intense battle going on to steal from you your special destinies and mission. The enemy has launched an all-out effort to deprive you of your callings. The distractions and tactics will come in many different forms, and forewarned is fore-armed. Not all that seems bad is bad; not all that seems good is good. Each thing must be discerned on an individual basis. This is at the heart of following Me faithfully and living in My Divine Will. Constant attentiveness and discernment are necessary to navigate these shark-infested waters.”

So what do you do when you find yourself hit by many fiery darts of the enemy? As any soldier would do, you run for the triage unit to have them heal your wounds so you can be strengthened and ready for another battle. So as a believer when we are hit we should run to our triage which is in the presence of God to be healed and restored.

The message above is from still small voice youtube channel, a prophetic ministry that I am a part of and the Lord provides daily messages to us. He couldn’t be more right that indeed these few weeks have been some of the most intense battles I have faced. In the spirit Fiery darts of the enemy can come in so many forms and boy how they hurt. Many Christians equate them to negative emotions or a feeling not recognizing they have just been hit. As Christians we have to remember we are at all times in a battle for our faith. The devils and demons are very real. They go to many lengths to bring us to unbelief so then you no longer began to hold up your shield of faith for protection.

A fiery dart is a tool the enemy uses to inject us with his poison. It happens when someone says a mean word that cut your heart, a curse word, negative label put on you, feeling rejection, abandoned, betrayed, fearful, doubt, jealously, pride there are so much more. They just dip the dart in  ( poison)whatever attack they have assigned to you and release it. If you are not covered in your full Armour (meaning walking in righteousness the arrows land) which cause the negative emotions and before you know it your offended. If you don’t repent immediately  then RUN INTO TRIAGE that poison begins to spread in your heart and cause seeds which can turn into roots then strongholds.

As I found myself with many arrows hitting my heart through various circumstances all the one thing I knew how to do was to run into the presence of God. As Christians we have to know how to enter into his presence…immediately. For in his presence comes forgiveness, mercy and grace given to you, healing and the fullness of Joy! Something supernatural happens literally when you enter into the presence of God. One time the Lord showed me a picture of my heart which had many thorns and it was hurting so bad. I knew a wrong thought enter my heart so the arrow landed. In his presence Jesus had surgical goggles, an tweezers and he was ever so tenderly and gently taking out the thorns one by one. After getting up from prayer my heart still delightedly hurt but felt so much better. Its like I had heart surgery! lol So you see as  a christian we must run to the triage daily for healing and strengthen or you will no longer be an effective soldier for the Kingdom of God.

Many soldiers have become bitter, resentful, rebellious, fearful, doubtful, lukewarm because when the enemies arrows came flying in the form of offense in anyway they never ran to triage. They allowed that negative, circumstance or memory stay in there heart and spread like poison. So encourage you brother and sister when the arrows start hitting run to the heavenly triage unit…..in the presence of your Father who is waiting to heal you, restore you and strengthen you!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Psalm 16:11
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 

Hope In HIS LOVE…Even In The Pit

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Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I found myself what looked like in a raging storm of emotions a couple of nights ago. The waves were fierce and the wind even fiercer as I found my thoughts going into a deep  deep into a dark pit. I kept telling myself Nana you have been here before don’t take your eyes of Jesus don’t take your eyes off Jesus but, it was too late. I had completely lost my peace and all I could do was cry out before him in Mercy. The enemy shot one arrow of doubt that triggered my emotions and turned into a snowball effect of me doubting if I was in Gods perfect will. This strategy is called a sucker punch, is when your doing perfectly fine going about your day and a situation, a circumstance, a word is uttered by someone or something and triggers an emotional melt down. You my friend have been sucker punched by the demons.

I began to seek God asking why frantically, is something I did and I am outside of your will? Have I missed you Lord, have I missed you? I felt like Peter was on the boat and confidently walked out to meet Jesus the minute he took his eyes on the waves he began to drown…I was drowning in my pit. Looking for answer’s all over the place because when I sat in Gods presence I got nothing. It had been a struggle for a few months to hear his voice. It was after reaching out too two dear friends of mine who put my thoughts in perspective and I began to realize…I am being tested. When the Lord is silent its because I am being tested with the storm raging all around me would I cling to his promises? With all the emotions raging in my heart I still had to go to work and counsel and encourage online with their walk in Christ. Ironic huh lol but, the Lord used one of them to encourage me. As he wrote me back saying I had helped and ministered to him greatly. He made a statement that he can now return back to Jesus because there is HOPE IN HIS LOVE and it hit me like a lightening bolt.

That was the problem I had been trying to hope in my love for Jesus for too long. If I can be honest my passion for him was dwindling and I was so weary and tired all the time. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone because I had put hope in my love towards Jesus. I began to feel discouraged because MY love felt like it was decreasing, wasnt exciting anymore but that was just it. That is how our love for God will be sometimes conditional but when we HOPE in HIS love that is unwavering, unconditional, consistent, relentless, faithful, trustworthy, passionate (all the time), and always available. So from my pit, finally I declared my weakness and reached out to receive his love. Despite my falling terribly, giving in to the tactics of the enemy, giving in to doubt and lies against his character. Jesus loved me back to life and nursed my gaping wounds so I may rest in him as he continues to fight this battle.  I finally he spoke to me in a song that kept playing in my mind ” BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”.  So I declared yes Lord I will be still in this storm and HOPE in YOUR love for me not mine.

So do you find yourself in your own pit in the beginning of this year? The pit can be your circumstances, your own thoughts, and your emotions. That have been weighing you down heavily and you seem to not have a way out. You seem to not hear Gods voice and you don’t know where to turn, Hope in HIS love. Because He loves you he will never leave you nor forsake you, He has not forgotten you and is right there in the pit with you. He had me rewrite Romans 8:38-39 as a declaration over myself and personalize, you should too because HIS word stands!

“For I am persuaded that neither losing my job, nor losing my car, nor spiritual warfare attacks of the enemy, nor moving back to my moms house, nor the criticism of family and friends can separate me from HIS love. For God has called me, qualified me and justified me. I will hope in his love knowing that he is working it all out for my good!

-From Jesus with Love

Trials That Lead Us To Trust

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These past few weeks had been some rough trials mostly just in my heart. For a moment I found myself taking my eyes off of Jesus yet again and looking at the waves and storms. Which caused me to anguish, fear and then just doubt in all that God had spoken to me. Before me I saw many deadlines, but I am reminded before Him , He sees a timeline where his purpose supersedes my deadlines and becomes a testimony!

I fund myself having my unemployment end in 2 weeks, my mission trip funding having to be paid in full at the end of this month, and my lease being up next month. I began to seek God about direction and what he wanted me to do. After many days of no clear answer I began to get anxious again as I began to entertain other peoples opinions as to what they think I should do because I took my eyes off of Jesus and all that he promised me. However, finally the Lord spoke to me about a job he wants me to apply for and I did Monday but now just waiting again lol  You know just this morning I was thanking the Lord that he answered a prayer of mine. I remember the day I was released from my job I spent about 3 hours of the most sweetest time with him. I said in my heart “That I wish I waste working so I could spend all day with Jesus” and he gave me exactly what I asked for lol However, now with only 2 weeks left of income I am savoring each day  thanking him for giving me such an amazing opportunity to get to know him more. That’s what He spoke to me “the reason he had me lose my job so I could know him more”

Then furthermore to my mission trip I am now at 66% percent  with funding 100 percent from donors since I am not working right now. I am just amazed at Gods faithfulness thus far that I had no plan or no intention of going because once again I was looking at my circumstances that the God of the impossible that I serve. I found out about the trip the day of the deadline for submission with no funds to put the deposit however, he had a friend of mine call me and pay it all. He truly is faithful so I believe it is his will he will provide. One think I told him is that He has to come through because if not it will make him look bad lol So I am now sitting back and expecting to be in awe of Him!

Psalm 25: 3
No one who trust in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.

Lastly with my lease being up for renewal not sure whether he wants me to stay here or not just waiting on Him to get clarity on that. In the meantime I realize how everyone one of these trials and the many in between have drawn me closer to Jesus. He did mention the word for this year would be ‘child-like Trust” oh how that has been so true. He has been reminding me a child who is buckled in their booster seat in their parents car doesn’t question where their going, how long it takes to get there, doesn’t even really prepare for the trip because the parents have that all covered. They just sit back and enjoy the ride as the parents take care of ever direction maneuver, detour, filling up gas, travel expenses, clothing and food for this trip. So that’s what Jesus does when we to surrender our wills to him completely as little children trusting our Heavenly Father will and has already taken car of every need in this adventure called Life as we just have to sit back and enjoy the ride with its road bumps, curves, detours and all. Trials will always lead to trust if you allow God to have his way and believe in his promises despite what you see or experience. As I know anxiously wait with great expectation for His timeline to supersede my deadlines and turn into an amazing testimony!

“With great suffering comes great intimacy. Closeness, Tenderness and Understanding”- Jesus

-From Jesus with Love ❤