My Valentines Letter To Jesus….My Marriage Vows

letter

I know valentines day has passed but wanted to share a sweet moment that I had that day. 3 years ago began my covenant relationship with Jesus I didn’t know what true love was until I surrendered my desire to be loved to him. Since then he has captured my heart, my body, my mind and soul. Truly the God that we serve is so gentle, so tender, so loving, so gracious, so good, so funny, so faithful, and so steadfast. He indeed has become my everything. You see before surrendering to the Lord I didn’t know you could be this intimate with him, I thought he was just a distant God who watched over us, answered prayer and got upset if we did something wrong but that is so far from the truth lol. The saddest part is many people see Jesus this way because they have allowed Man, religion….and I hate to say it the Church, Christians and even pastors to show them who God is rather than looking at Jesus life to be a true reflection of the heart and nature of the one true God!

Exodus 34:1, 4-10
“A God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love

So all of this in my heart prompted me to share my relationship with two other young ladies who then decided to give themselves wholeheartedly to Jesus in a covenant relationship on Valentines day. We had our church young adults ministry and we held a short but sweet wedding ceremony. Where three of my friends bought purity rings and vowed to keep themselves for Jesus until their marriage. It was so awesome. We all had vows we wrote to Jesus and had witnesses to hold us accountable. I am now excited to do this journey with my friends and many others who are now beginning to desire intimacy with God and take their walk with Jesus seriously! These are photos of my friends below…as the Beyoncé song goes “If you like what you see put a ring on it”…well Jesus did lol!celibacy

So here go my marriage vows to the King of My heart Jesus after 3 long years of marriage lol:
 Jesus, we have been through so much together. The first two years was the most difficult I had many thoughts of doubt and even divorce at moments but, your relentless patience, love, gentleness, and faithfulness held me together. You continue to make me feel like I am the only woman in all the world that you love. You have made me stronger, better, you have encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone. You have been my anchor, my rock, and my protector when fear has set in. You have never left my side when many times I have wandered. You have never lusted for another when many times my eyes and my heart has wandered. You are indeed made just for me and I just for you. You have taught me the love and beauty in submission and seeking your wisdom in every decision as my life partner. You have comforted me in the most darkest moments. You held me together when no one else could. My tears are liquid words that you only can read and understand. You have gone before me in all things and as my rear and front guard you have hedged me finely. You are indeed the true lover of my soul. You have shown me love that surpasses anything of this world. Your presence is something I cherish may I never take it for granted. I consecrate myself to you my love on this day. I give you my body, my heart, my soul, my mind  to be fully yours. I vow to stick this out through thick and thing for all of eternity.  I vow to always make you the first person I talk to in the morning and the last at night. I vow to be your help mate, laying down my life to help you build your kingdom. To cover your mission and purpose in prayer. I vow to defend, stand up and be unashamed of you and who you are to me. I vow to share you with others because this is the only marriage you have graced to be and “open marriage”. I vow to take care of our children and family. Jesus I love you take this strong-willed, hotmess of a girl to be your bride!

Isaiah 62:5
As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.

As a believer living in this time we have the most beautiful grace to know Jesus even more intimately because we are his “Bride” that goes for you to guys 🙂 . The Church is the bride of Christ but since were individual members and our bodies are his temple we too are individual are his bride. In my season of singleness I have come to know and love Jesus as my hubby before my physical hubby comes! lol He has taught me submission, trusting in him, consecrating my body to him alone, seeking him for wisdom before I make any major decisions, helping me be a good steward of my time so we have time for each other, going on dates with him and including him in every aspect of my life. Jesus has truly been preparing me for marriage and teaching me what it means to be an Ephesians 5 Wife, A Titus 2 and A Proverbs 31 woman. You don’t have to wait start or grow in these attributes ladies when you get a husband start now with the Lover of your soul, Jesus!. Marriage is suppose to be a reflection of your relationship with Jesus anyway! Its been amazing and He is the Perfect Husband lol

-From Jesus with Love ❤

Its Our Anniversary!!

13263940_10104526343343690_5527043587468368710_n

So its our anniversary!, yes the day I finally surrendered completely control to the one who deserves control Jesus! lol It was 3 years ago on January 1, 2014 I remember I was at my little sisters house and I had been toiling with this decision for a couple of weeks now. After receiving a prophetic word from two different people confirming God wanted me to lay down my event business, clothing line and desire to move to NY in order to follow MY dreams instead now to follow HIM. That was a tough and scary decision as I was on the couch I just prayed I believe the most sincere prayer as I told him “that I was scared to let go and give him complete control but I would do it” Immediately after I said that prayer my phone had a notification the bible verse of the day and it was:

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid for I am with you
Don’t be discouraged for I am your God
I will strengthen you and help you
I will lift you up with my victorious right hand

I remember then running to my sisters room with the phone in the palm of my hand shaking in shock saying ” Omg he answered me, he answered me” with excitement lol
In all honesty I had made a commitment in my heart to give complete control over to Jesus for about a year to see what he could do lol. Well we see who won and who will always win…Oh ye of little faith, that was truly me.

Now 3 years later what can I say about my beloved bridegroom Jesus, he indeed has become my everything. He once said to me that “if I don’t know him and his ways how can I then walk in my assignment and calling”. He has indeed been faithful in showing me my true identity, my purpose and has filled every void and cleaned up every throne in my heart that I had. He not only King of my  heart but of my life, my decisions, my thoughts, and reactions. I didn’t know how lost I was until He found me! That’s what I love about him drawing me into intimacy . I have realized Jesus desires this relationship with all his children. That’s what the cross did for all those who will and do believe in Jesus. It restores back to your true identity as a son and daughter of God. Having fellowship and communion with him daily which is available to anyone who would believe and surrender their whole life that Christ would live through you as his disciple and bride.

You see I was a believer but not a disciple and definitely not a bride. I hadn’t fully surrendered, I had the holy spirit around me but he wasn’t indwelling within me. That’s the beauty in surrender, you give up what wasn’t yours in the first place……your life because Jesus Christ died for all men and in him alone you have life.We have been through so much together it truly feels like a marriage not even kidding lol   Now as his bride and disciple I know what that scripture means to be a submitted wife:

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Ooooh how I have learned and still learning the true meaning of submission unto the Lord. Its difficult at times for sure because its crucifying your flesh  and truly DIE to yourself completely which is all by Gods grace and his work in us.  He indeed has and is preparing me for marriage…Heeey now! lol I went through my old journals  to look back at the many things I didn’t know and have come to know now walking with the Lord these past 3 years.

What I have learned about being the bride of Christ:

  • Its soooooo rewarding!
  • I was sent by God here on this earth to testify of him and be a witness to the light that’s inside of me…Jesus! John 1
  • He dwells in my heart so I have to keep it pure
  • Obedience, Obedience, Obedience lol oh and Trust, Trust, Trust hehe
  • I am the highlight of his day! (we all are actually !)
  • I have the same grace to walk just like Jesus did on this earth!
  • The fastest way to His heart is through worship, he literally shows up and something supernatural happens!
  • It is difficult, it will cost you everything for the word say  “narrow and difficult is the way that leads to life and few go there in” Matthew 7:14
  • Your life calls for complete abandonment to self-desires, motives, plans, strengths and complete surrender to the Lord
  • This intimacy is available to everyone who desires it….”seek him UNTIL you find him” Jeremiah 29:13
  • Giving up is not an option, to take Jesus hands when things get difficult and allow him to carry me
  • That we all have the ability to actually hear and see Jesus in the spirit! Matthew 5:8
  • Jesus loves to dance, He is so tender, sensitive, funny, and so loving!
  • That my life should always be to raise others up around me than myself
  • The greatest power on earth is LOVE and he has given all his brides a gift of love
  • I have been called to a life of suffering, rejection and death (to self) just like my beloved Christ
  • That I am called to look just like Christ I will be persecuted, accused, made fun of, rejected, scorned, talked about….that’s all normal because that’s when I look most like him
  • He uses the worst situation and people to test my heart in love, patience and charity
  • My Enemies are a gift from him and not enemies at all. He uses them to purify me so I should bless them and be thankful instead
  • The more difficult and dark the situation or person the better because the light in me can shine brighter
  • He has given me charge over the angels of heaven, I can command their assistance in anything….I love the angels! Matthew 28:18
  • I am called to love others to Christ
  • To be humble, to little, to be the least, to be overlooked, to become a beggar for his sake is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven
  • To always gives thanks in everything…..I mean everything

 

So have you been feeling a pull on your heart this year 2017, to finally surrender ALL to the Lord. Not just surrender your Sundays by going to church and maybe even Wednesdays for bible study but no surrender all that you are. Surrender your heart, your life, and dreams completely to the one who is in control of ALL things, to the one who created the universe, to the one who has ALL authority over heaven and earth and most importantly to the one that died for you that you may live…..in him, Jesus. I am telling you surrender it all to him, surrender this year to him and stand back, let go of control, watch and be in awe at what he does in and with your life!

-From Jesus with Love

 

The Season Of Crickets & The Value of The “One”

One audience

Yes that’s a cricket next to him on that seat lol. Oh how accurate is this image. Indeed this is a lesson the Lord has definitely taught me this year and last year. To obey him when no one even show up, to be diligent and faithful despite the crickets. Testing my heart for my motives, and not being moved by the numbers…..well because in fact many a times there were no numbers lol. It became so bad that a good friend of mine changed her ring tone to a “crickets chirp” to poke fun of the interesting season Jesus had  me in lol. Its definitely funny now and how I am so grateful for the lesson he taught me in that but, it was painful them. Many times feeling rejected, not valued, even not worthy and of course how the enemy of my soul would whisper suggestions of giving up, doubt, insecurities and even fears to stop me from pursuing what God told me to do. How easy is it for us to trust, followers, likes, people opinions or filled seats with our worth….Jesus didn’t so neither should we.

John 2:24
But Jesus did not trust them because He knew all men.  He did not need anyone to tell Him about man. He knew what was in man.

 

You see earlier last year the Lord told me to began a fellowship at my apartment and I invited quite a few people but got only about two responses. So as the time got closer I decided to cancel it to my surprise many text stating they were planning and immediately the Holy spirit  said “when two or three are gathered in my name I am in the midst”. I felt so convicted I had canceled because the majority wasn’t coming but discounted the two that where and forgetting they were just enough for Jesus that’s all he needs! (hand slap to the forehead), I asked the Lord to forgive me and told him if no one showed up would still do it because if all else fails him and all the heavenly host will be there. So attempted again the following week. This time all I got was “crickets”  no one showed up. To be honest I was devastated it was such a vulnerable season in my life and I was feeling so insecure. I remember continuing with the fellowship just me and Jesus,  my heart was heavy in worship the Lord spoke again and said ” I want to know if you will be faithful are you doing this for me or for them?” I broke down crying telling the Lord its all about him and continued with the fellowship weekly
Lesson Learned Faithfulness

Luke 16:10
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.

Then the Lord spoke to me again telling me to do a youtube channel to teach all that he is teaching me . I fought with this idea first thinking “who me” but what do I have to teach, I mean who am I Jesus…..of course that’s the best position to be in because in our weakness his strengths pour through us! So I began the youtube channel this year thinking , who is really going to watch this. I would post on fb tag family and friends in hopes they would share or support all I got was “crickets”. Of course there were times where I would get only a few views and I found myself fighting the feeling of discouragement but told myself this is Gods channel not mine so I have to be obedient and continued. As subscribers started to come I found myself continuing to focus on the numbers and comparing myself with other channels. Which can be so dangerous because you lose sight of Jesus and began to look at others. So about 4 months ago my youtube account became disabled I immediately thought it was he enemy attacking the channel but during prayer the Lord said it was him because of my pride. I was like ouch! Wow, so humbly asked for forgiveness and the channel is still disabled however the interesting thing is its grown to over 100 subscribers in these few months and now have over 650 with no new videos. The Lord reminded me that’s its all his work on not mine, “Its not about you Nana” can I say humbling.
Lessoned Learned Humility & Obedience

Then the Lord spoke to me again to began a praying meeting at my job. I was so excited me and some friends go together blessed the room and began to advertise by sending out emails and word of mouth. Initially one or two would come then some weeks when no one would show up “crickets”. There were weeks where I didn’t want to go or I would show up late thinking no one is going to come anyway. Once again I fighting the feeling of discouragement and the Lord reminded me to be faithful and of course He and the heavenly host were there lol. So I would go in the room and pray by myself soon it started it growing and a consistent number of ppl would come and upon leaving the job its still going! Wow,  again I was reminded its Not about me lol and of course the-
Lessoned Learned Is Perseverance

Then finally the Lord spoke to me to began writing these blogs. Honestly I used to hate writing so looking back on these blogs and seeing Gods fingerprints all on this amazes me. However, I remember me and my friend started blogging at the same time. We both knew God spoke to us about it but no one was reading these blogs lol. I would have one viewer maybe 1 follower in 3 months. We would laugh and look at each other and say “crickets” lol but the Lord kept reminded us just write be obedient to write a blog a week. She said her son told her “write they will come” I love that because that’s what faith is. Hoping for what you don’t see putting our faith in Gods word spoken to us and not to give up. So we have continued to write and I am amazed at what God has done!
Lessoned Learned Is Diligence

Most recently the Lord spoke to me to began a bible study over the phone after losing my job. Of course began to have the same rebuttals, wait, whaaa, Lord me, Jesus is this you or just my mind lol but he confirmed. For about a week had to fight off insecurities again because this is opening myself to people I don’t know and plus who would call in LOL There I go again limiting God. So I began the hourly conference line and behold would have 7 to9 callers each day from different part of the country calling in desiring to know God. I was flabbergasted , there was a day when I was 15 minutes into the call and no one called in. I was tempted to just hang up but the Holy Spirit reminded me again of all the times Gods faithfulness even when no one showed up lol. So I told myself you made a commitment with God to do for an hour so will leave it on for an hour, can I tell you that day was the day of the most callers and even a new caller! lol There are times where only one caller has called and the Lord has reminded me that he can care less of the numbers its jus to touch one. So me, that person and Jesus with all the heavenly host have bible study! lol
Lessoned Learned is Trust & Gods Strength

 

Matthew 18:12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?

 

Now he has spoken to my heart to turn the personal fellowship and extend it by leading a coed a small group for the  young adults ministry in our church and the Nana of old would be so insecure, frightened, doubtful and concerned with people not showing up. However, because of these past lessons I now know:

  • To be obedient
  • Trust God more
  • Its not about me, its all by his strength
  • To do everything  I do unto the Lord
  • To continue to be faithful
  • Its not about the numbers, one person is so invaluable
  • Its not about what people say about it
  • It is indeed Gods work that he does through me

 

How many times do we allow followers, likes, peoples opinions to be the measure of the worth, validation our work or even Gods call upon our lives? Trust God and be obedient to  all that  he ask you to do because its all about that ONE person, one blog post, one video, one bible study meeting, one prayer meeting that God will use to touch many!

-From Jesus with Love

You Were Created To Dance In The Fire

a1d7f05fa6ee1607ef54ab815ca4a6aa

“You were created to dance in the fire” that’s what the Lord spoke to me in my alone time this past week. He showed me a beautiful picture of me in a furnace on fire dancing around not burned, moving freely, swirling, and twirling around unmoved by the heat, the flames that consumed me because he was right there with me. Wow, I was blown away by impression form the Lord and sidenote: I love the image for this post because embodies almost what I  saw thank you Holy Spirit lol (I always ask him to help me pick out the photos he is the best!)

 So in the last blog I let you all in on the fact of the fiery trials that were going on with cars breaking down back to back, financial strains and jobs being lost left and right. Jesus was teaching me how to have a heart of thankfulness amidst my trials and suffering. Furthermore, he wanted to teach me how to dance through them by holding his hands and keeping my gaze on him only as he takes the lead in this wonderful dance. Not only to endure through them but to count it all joy knowing that our faith will be rewarded.  As a believer you can experience fire from two different places the fire of the Lord and Fiery arrows of the enemy. The word of God states the Lord is a consuming fire (Hebrew 12:29) wow, that’s the God that we serve. For unbeliever that should leave them shaken for his consuming fire comes upon the unrighteous as a consuming wrath. However, for a believer He consumes us with his love, his glory, his anointing, his power and how is it possible were able to contain it all in our weak vessels of clay called bodies its only by abiding in him. By walking with so when fiery trials come so he can teach us how to dance when the fire of God falls on us and when the enemy releases his fiery arrows at us as well! lol

There are three scriptures that came to my mind. The first was Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego this was a perfect example of what it looked like to dance in the fire with Jesus because these guys were literally in a fire. I can imagine what that day was like they all were facing what looked like death because they were uncompromising serving the one and only true God. If they wouldn’t bow to the statue of the King they would be thrown in the fire. How many times have you been in a situation where you had to make the right decision that would cost you, maybe even cost you your life? Did you have faith to trust God in that moment were you full of fear, anxiety, worry and doubt? I love their response to the king as they faced death with fire they said:

Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Wow, that response took a great level of faith. They knew that God would defend them and deliver them. I love the fact that they said even if he doesn’t we will not lose our faith, lose our hope, we will not cower. Amazing! May we ask for that grace to have that response  when the Lord will doesn’t look like our will (They danced, I would say boogied in the fire! lol)

The second scripture the Lord brought to my mind was:

1 Peter 4:12-13

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

This scripture talks about the sufferings, trials we go through as believers sometimes our trials aren’t based on a decision that we made or any open doors but these are our crosses to bare, our sufferings that we can offer to the Lord. They allow us to grow in virtue. Have you ever found yourself in a situation that seems overwhelming, burdensome or even painful and you immediately go into thinking its the enemy. There he goes that sly little devil and you start praying, binding, rebuking and the Lord says “stop its me. I am allowing this for my glory, for you to grow in your faith, and for you to trust me”. Lol Those are the times you have to cling to him and his promises all that the more.  Will you trust him when your rent cant be paid, when people speaking against you, when you have no way around, when you have nothing to eat, when they say you cant have a child, when the Dr. gives you a bad health report, when you have no money for the holidays, will you dance in the fire with him?

James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 

The third scripture was:

Ephesians 6:16
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

As a believer sometimes we forget we are in an on going spiritual battle that is very real. Ether you are a soldier in the army or your being help captive there is no middle ground in this fight. When you come to know Jesus Christ you are now a captive that has been set free and the enemy knows that very well. He will try to do whatever he can to make you feel defeated, discouraged, and ultimately held captive by him again. We know our adversary Satan and his demons are very real. They will stop and don’t stop at nothing to attempt to make our lives miserable on this earth. The Lord tells us not to be ignorant of the schemes and wiles of the devil for he is very cunning (2 Corinthians 2:11). With fiery arrows they shoot with anger, division, lies, joyously, condemnation, doubt, fear, death just to name a few. So you can find your self in a fiery situation that was caused by the enemy of our soul to lose hope, to lose trust and ultimately lose faith in the Lord.  Job was a perfect example of a righteous man who went through a fiery trial immediately all of his friends and everyone around starting believing he had to have done something bad for all these things to happen to him. He had to have sinned however, the Lord came to his defense even before the trial began as he spoke to Satan of how righteousness his servant was and offered him to Satan to be tested (Job 1:8) Say whaaaaa, yes God offered Jobs name to be tested. Makes you wonder when you go through fiery trials has God offered your name to be tested. Can He say “look at my son/daughter they are righteous and love me so much that no arrow of yours will stop them from trusting, believing or having faith in me”? You see even in the enemies fire that’s when we dance all that the more, we move with grace, compassion, understanding, longsuffering and patience. As we cling too, hold on too the one we love the most Jesus! Going completely unscathed, no burns, or singes because he is right in the fire with us. Fighting our battle, as he leads my feet in this dance of fire to trample on the enemy!

 Job 42:10
After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.

God restored Job completely and multiplied even all that he had before. Truly our God waste no trials, no suffering, no inconvenience, no hardship or heartache and when we trust him he restores all that was lost. So will you grab the hand of Jesus and allow him to lead you through the difficult times in your life. Will you stay in a heart of thanksgiving and praise so you become so overcome with his joy that your mourning turns into dancing. That all though your situation hasn’t changed because your gaze is fixed on him you began to dance in the fire with him!  Will you trust him?……Now DANCE!

 

 

Trails Of Faithfulness

lonely-girl-walking-on-road

My birthday was on the 10th of this month and which caused me to sit back and reflect on where I am now and where I used to be. I can honestly say this  was a difficult day so many arrows from the enemy telling me nothing has changed and feeling of no accomplishments. I had many people write beautiful messages on my Facebook wall and even text me but no phone calls besides family and If I can be honest I felt so alone, I thought man my Facebook page is looking like my memorial page LOL but I’m not dead yet sheesh people could just call me and tell me those nice things would’ve appreciate it so much more. You know as I am typing this I realize goodness that’s how we treat God sometimes, many know about him by quoting scriptures all day, going to church, posting bible versus, talking about Him,  and even preach about Him but how many spend time with Him. I can imagine He feels the same way sometimes. Saying  “man these people are always talking about me but their hearts are so far from me as He too feels alone, waiting and desiring them to come to him, KNOW him, spend time with him talking too Him and loving Him. (This is so the Holy Spirit by the way so no the direction of the blog but I love it he gave me that revelation as I am typing, Haha love Him!)

So since losing my job and being at home it has honestly been a struggle daily and my birthday was no different I had to tell myself “Nana get out of self pity don’t you see the Lord has done amazing things in you life don’t let what you see influence what you know” One lie I had believed was ” This is the story of my life motto” I would say it all the time in my heart when patterns in my life showed itself but during a Kairos session at my church the Lord revealed I had believed that lie, that’s exactly what it was a lie! The Lord spoke to my heart and spoke this truth instead:

Hebrews 12:2  I AM the author and finisher of your faith

I thought wow Lord, so true, you are right! My story is not written based on my experiences, my opinions or circumstances you do. Thank you Jesus! We can all take comfort in that if you are in a season which seems uncomfortable and your becoming the slightest bit hopeless or discouraged know that God is complete control he is not surprised by where you are, what has happened and where your going trust him to lead in all things knowing that he indeed works ALL things for his glory!

Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The Lord told me to lay my business, clothing line and jewelry line down to follow him. So the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to go through my old journals that chronicled my 2 1/2 years of walking with the Lord.  To go back and see the many answered prayers, the many promises and how clearly the Lord has been speaking to me. To truly see his trail of faithfulness in my life because that’s what the enemy was attacking my faith to believe that God is indeed faithful. So I did just that and below I wanted to share  the many altars of Gods faithfulness in my life.

Journal Entries:
Sept 24,2014
You spoke to my heart that your preparing me for something not sure what, you told me that “Sometimes you don’t give us the blessing because we don’t have the capacity or character to handle it”

Sep 27, 2014

The Lord gave me a dream which I believe he is saying that he has called me into ministry of the Gospel and has given me a grace of leadership, I’m in the preparation process and that the enemy is after my prayer life. God has given me a gift of discernment & intercession setting me apart to be victorious in prayer ….my thoughts, really?!!!! Lord me

October 6, 2014

During small group as we prayed for my sister with a complicated pregnancy the Lord revealed to a sister in Christ  a picture of flowing water. Not knowing my sister had no water in her belly and her baby was in danger of death the Lord declared he would provide the water to sustain that child

October 15, 2014

I told the Lord that ” I would be bold for him and take the Love of God and be a world changer” after hearing Pastor Ravi Zacharias speak.

November 4, 2014

I asked the Lord to reveal if my sister should began her poetry book and he gave me a dream that night directing me that it wasn’t the right time

November 21, 2014

Prayed for a close friend who needed a breakthrough and she  got a job that same week

December 2, 2014

Had intense spiritual attack of lust/perversion and after pressing in for a week the Lord gave me the victory

December 11,2014

The Lord finally gave me direction on my calling by admonishing me saying ” If you don’t know my ways and they are not implanted in your hearts how can you then walk in your assignment” (shut me up) lol

December 22, 2014 (fulfilled prophecy)

A brother in Christ calls me with a prophetic word that people are drawn to me because of Christ . That my walk will be very uncomfortable but I should walk by faith and that many will come to know Christ through me. Also that their would be loved ones who would distant themselves from me but I shouldn’t be sad God would restore our relationship.

January 28,2015
The Lord reveals in a  dream that my brother would be released sooner than later…(and he was)

February 27, 2015
I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me how to pray

April, 15, 2015

I met my sisters new boyfriend and prayed right then if he was meant to be with my sister to stay for bible study and if not for him to leave. (Not only did he stay but he surrendered his life and now getting married next year!)

April 22, 2015

The Lord spoke to move out of my moms house and finally got approved for my own apartment!

June 05, 2015

The Lord put it on my heart to began a fellowship meeting at my house despite fears and insecurities. (has grown and do it everyday Friday)

February 11,2015
The Lord confirmed that he wanted me to start a blog and youtube channel despite fears and insecurities. ( hence writing today  with 22 blogs and 640 subscribers later….God is amazing!)

January 18, 2015

In he midst of deep hurt and betrayal He spoke ” I am transforming you and your family”

November 27, 2015
Prayed for divine friendships and relationship that go deep ( he has answered that!)

December 8, 2015

Gave me the idea to extend our Date Night with Jesus event and take it outside to the Homeless. ( by his grace were doing that this month will be our fourth time!…he is faithful)

Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

I had stop because I couldn’t write all his promises on this blog! LOL Wow, reading all of these going down in memory lane made me smile. My God is indeed faithful when you are in the midst of a trials, test or suffering the enemy of your soul would love for you to focus on your present situation and forgot all that God has said and done but truly Gods word does not return void. If he said it he will do it!! Thinking of the many times I wrote down my thoughts not realizing it was actually Jesus speaking and now looking back realizing that it was indeed him! That  truly is a different type of joy I get knowing that I hear the voice of God 🙂 How I thank him for such a wonderful grace! So what promise are you going to revive or cling too one again? Know that God is indeed faithful as you continue to Trust him, Follow his lead in blind obedience you will be able to look back and be in awe at what he does in you life!

 

 

I Am A Little Pencil In The Hand Of God

 

pencil2

This term was coined by Mother Teresa and she went on to say that  ” I am little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world” and was given to me by a friend recently. Oh, what a truthful and beautiful statement this is for us all, well that’s if we allow it to be. We are all created with a story in mind by the hand of the creator however many times we want to dictate where our lines are drawn or better yet write our own stories. Many of us want to used by God but are not willing to let go of complete control and allow him  to write HIS story through us because that’s what our lives are…..HIS story told through our tears, pain, suffering, trials, celebrations, disappointments, test & achievements to guide stories. Just as the bible is written and inspired by the Holy spirit through many different accounts of Christ disciples so will the story of our lives. It should ad on to the testimony of Jesus Christ who he is and how he uses the lowliest of vessels to bring him glory. As we allow Him to write you can trust that the lines of your life will fall in pleasant places

Psalm 16:6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

However, I got the most interesting picture the Lord gave me. That we can  be can be different type of pencils which can be a little more difficult to write HIS story with. There is the graphite pencil, the mechanical pencil and wooden pencil .

grahite-pencil

Graphite Pencil-Used to for sketches for detail and to draw deep dark lines. It is it the one that stains the paper and pigments it , being able to create a trace after it, which is well-known as line. Interesting definition of a graphite pencil in the hands of God can be a person who is deep, passionate in all that do and very detailed. They draw out their lives intentionally however “its stains the paper and pigments it” so  having no eraser  they give no room for error in themselves or others. Which causes them to be critical or judgmental of others staining them with the same idea. They strive for perfection which is impossible without the hand of God because he always rewrites our plans which never look perfect. It creates traces of wrong turns, should couldas, and achievement in the persons life which continues to have them look back then looking forward to what God is doing

mechanical-pencil

Mechanical pencil-or a propelling pencil is a pencil with a replaceable and mechanically extendable solid pigment core called a “lead” /ˈlɛd/. The lead, often made of graphite, is not bonded to the outer casing, and can be mechanically extended as its point is worn away. In the hands of God can be a person who strong within their OWN strengthen and not on the Lord. They are mechanical in thinking  and solving problems, very analytical and reason before they go any further. They may follow the culture, work faster and are quick to adapt but in the Hand of God he desire for us to submitted, patient and quick to obey HIS lead. With the lead of this pencil being able to be easily broken and even run out at times. This person can be a hard worker but since its all in their strength, they burn out easily and being mechanical when they find themselves not having control and completely broken they have no where to turn too since they were relying on themselves. It causes them to be completely out of use and out of Gods will

pencil

a Simple Wooden Pencil-Most common used Pencil. In the Hands of God it is the most simple of all pencils but the beauty of this pencil is that it can become anything, carved into different shapes but still be used to perfom the same task. This pencil can be broken and still be used, it may have dull moments when the lead cannot be seen but use a pencil sharpener then the lead is yet again available for use. Just as a person who is broken so many times can be used  by God and when they find themselves with out hope or purpose they are sharpened again by the word of God or even by their brothers/sisters around them.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another

with the eraser they are able to have God erase their mistakes from the past, redirect their direction when they turn a wrong way and create a beautiful masterpiece out of a mess. In Gods hand all things are possible as we yield to him to break us, sharpen us, and write HIS story through us because one thing ALL pencils have in common is that they are a tool to be used, within itself a pencil is useless unless someone is using it for the purpose in which it was created for. So will you let God use you to write HIS story?

untitled

 

mother-teresa
The late Mother Teresa

 

I don’t think so. I don’t claim anything of the work. It’s His work. I’m like a little pencil in His hand. That’s all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it’s His work, and that He is using others as instruments – all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.- Mother Teresa

 

When God Calls You To Walk On The Waves With Him

leap-of-faith

I know a lot of times we hear when God  is calling you higher that means your going deeper which is true, but a lot of times it never looks they way you envision it. You think a deeper dive in the ocean but he actually means he is calling you higher. Higher level of faith, trust, hope in him. Not only does he call you out of the boat to walk on the water but he calls you then to go deeper which requires a deeper level of trust and faith by walking on the waves with him.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.

My walk has been nothing short of interesting to say the least, just a few weeks ago I wrote a blog about contending with contentment at my job.  The job that I was finding difficult to wake up every morning to go to0, the job that I was complaining about, the job that the Lord was teaching me to be excellence, content, and faithful at……..well that job let me go last Tuesday. You would think I would be excited or relieved but it was such a shock, very unexpected. I think sometimes the Lord is thinking this girl doesn’t know what she wants, isn’t he so gracious lol! I woke up that morning excited in the wee hours of 4 am to spend time with the Lord and wonderful time it was in his presence, worship and reading the word before work. I was so full of joy that morning, now I had heard rumors of our positions being changed but not losing our jobs however, I went in that morning finding out we had a surprise meeting and they told us we were let go and to go home. I wasn’t sure what to think, if I can be honest inside I was keeping cool but on the inside I think my soul was jumping lol All these thoughts of doubt, fear, anxiety hit me..one of the lies of the enemy was telling me “see you woke up spend all that time with the Lord and he didn’t forwarn you, you don’t really hear from Jesus” that was the hardest lie I was trying to cast down.

OUT OF THE BOAT

You see, the Lord called me to lay down my life for him almost  3 years ago. I had intended on pursuing my own business I had at the time, my clothing and jewelry line and move to NY until I had a radical encounter with my beloved Jesus and it changed everything. So when he asked me  almost 3 years ago to live for him I said “of course, I will tell everyone about you and what you have done for me, my life is yours no turning back! I surrender all to you Jesus”. So when the Lord lead me to my job I thought I wouldn’t be there for long or so I thought a few months turned into a year, then the one year turned to two and I was anxious along the way but the Lord kept telling me to wait, Nana wait….

Psalm 27:14
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

ON THE WATER

So in the midst of waiting he began to change my perspective and stir my heart for him in such a way to have my life be a witness for others. That wasn’t my intention at the job but he began to show me that I was there by assignment in the midst of me waiting.  So I started to notice the Lord giving me opportunities to share him with my coworkers, to pray and encourage and he even opened the door to began a prayer meeting at the job! Which I looked forward too and enjoyed, he began to give me words of knowledge and dreams about my coworkers to draw them closer to him! Indeed he was stirring my passion to be bold and courageous for him however, he began speaking to my heart to totally surrender and abandon myself to his will. I would get this word over and over again to the point it became frustrating because I thought I had totally surrendered, I wasn’t sure what else I needed too. I kept telling the Lord all is yours, I live a hedged life because you ask that of me, I am at this job surrendered to waiting on you because you said too what else Lord. Thinking to myself I am like peter Lord, you called me to walk on the water jump out of the boat called  “Nanas idea of her life” to follow you and I did just that not sure what else I can give…oh but was I mistaken. He wanted TOTAL SURRENDER & ABONDMENT which means whatever may come, whatever you allow Jesus I am yours. I remember when I started hat job and being around other Christians friends who were called and knew their calling I was so insecure at that time and doubtful because I didn’t know mine so I went on lunch break crying out to the Lord to show me my calling please just show me and he said:

“I cant show you I have to lead you”

WALKING ON THE WAVES

So now he has lead me out the boat, on the water now even higher to walking on the wave. Losing my job caused my eyes to be fixed on the storm rather than on Jesus gaze and his hands that have been right in front of me. I knew the next step from this job would be walking into my purpose and that’s why I was so anxious to leave because I thought I was ready. But we know God is very funny and he will always give you what you ask for just not the way you want it lol That’s exactly what he has done, he has called me higher and deeper in him, not to stop walking on the water called faith, not to go back to the boat called comfortability by getting another job, no he has called me to continue to grab his hand, gaze in his eyes and trust him as he guides me step by step to walk above the storm and to walk on the waves. I have learned that that I am actually always on assignment whenever, with whoever and wherever I am at. I am a pilgrim on an journey here on this earth and that to surrender is not just a one time choice but a daily choice to say today I die that you live Jesus may I do your will and not my own. So I have been asked the question so many times what are going to do, what’s next, what are you waiting for? All I can say is that I am being led by the one who loves me the most, who created me and knows my purpose and is threading this beautiful tapestry of grace called my life and only he knows the finished work. As he is building my trust in him in a deeper way, growing a greater level of faith in me and sanctifying me for his use. Of course he has me waiting again for the next direction. As I sit at his feet I find myself wondering what he is up too slightly anxious if I can be honest but excited about this crazy adventure that I get to do with my forever life partner, leader and guide Jesus!

People Are A Gift From God!

child-opening-gift-page2322

 

One day a few weeks I went and a walk with the Lord just talking to him about some recent situations I went though where I was hurt by someone I cared about. I continued speaking to him about my past wounds from others and He said “They are all gift to you, every person I have brought in your life is a gift to you. Whether they have been good to you or not they are all my precious gifts to you” I was flabbergasted to say the least but the Holy spirit began to give me a deeper understanding of what he was saying. Those in my life who have hurt me have caused me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and even bare much fruit for him. So many times and just in our society we discount people, we hold sometimes okay let me be honest, in our generation we hold material things, class, status, even animals at a greater esteem then people. However, that is so backwards because in all of creation were the only ones  created in Gods image and he made us just a little lower then the angels:

Hebrew 2:6-7
What is man, that You are mindful of him, or the son of man, that You care for him? You made them a little lower than the angels; you crowned them with glory and honor

You see the Lord has chosen man as his dwelling place. Not a temple, not a building, not a location, not a mountain, not even the sky but he has chosen his son’s and daughters to indwell within then by the Holy Spirit. So when we love on people we don’t just love on them but we love on God!

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

At that time of this conversation I was pouring out my heart to the Lord telling him of the pain of being accused, slandered and talked against. I began to compare my walk with him to others around me. Complaining that my walk seemed so much more difficult and he said its because of your calling….(which I still don’t know by the way, don’t you love when he continues to leave you hanging but still yearning for more of him lol). The Holy spirit then put this on my heart that when we measure and compare our suffering based on what others go through rather than what Christ went through for us then that could lead us into depression, resentment, bitterns and even unforgiveness. Furthermore, if the measure of Gods glory and favor on our lives becomes based on comparing ourselves to others than it can easily lead to pride. Looking down on others and even thinking you’re more spiritual mature but, the only measure in all things should be and is Jesus Christ, his glory and his suffering. Neither of these can compare to man’s suffering or glory we go partake in on the earth. So my little measly suffering I am going through is nothing compared to what Jesus did on the on the cross for me…..so to say the least that shut me up real quick lol but, it was such a beautiful revelation.

He went on to say that people indeed are the greatest gifts on this earth and that did I forget that he uses ALL things for my good.  He uses people to fulfill his purpose upon the earth and even in our lives. Every person he has brought in my life has made me better. He has brought people in my life to encourage me, to propel me when I felt like I couldn’t go forward. He brought people in my life to love me to show me what his heart looks like in order that I may began to love also. Then he has brought people in my life to teach me lessons, to allow the uglies in my own heart to be brought to the light so that may repent and have a pure heart. He has brought people in my life who have hurt me which allows me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and bare much fruit for him. So that’s why this person and all people are a gift good or bad.

I would like to share two vision one from a pastor and the other from a man who went to heaven. The pastor stated the Lord gave him a vision one day of  being taking to this art gallery and he saw a huge monument  of a man beautifully chiseled from head to toe. This man looked exquisite almost out of this world he was in awe when he saw it and asked Jesus who is this man? and Jesus said “its you”. He was in speechless, then Jesus asked would you like to see the two man who created this masterpiece he said yes…and the Lord took him to the other side of the monument and he was in complete shock. There were two men he recognized very well. He actually had despised them for a time because they were two critics of his ministry. They came to church every Sunday, sat on the front row for years and wrote many articles to tear down his ministry however, the Lord told him to continue to love on them and forgive them. Jesus stated that he used them to bring out much fruit and virtue in him so in fact they brought the best out in him. Isn’t that amazing! The second vision was a man who went to heaven and he stated that the greatest attribute in heaven will not be the knowledge you gain, the things you see or have access too but it will be the citizens of heaven. Each person is like heaven, for they radiate the purest love and joy that you will ever encounter…haha isn’t that wonderful, each person is like heaven itself that makes me smile!

So if we would then began to see people as gifts as they are, if we see children as the greatest gift then we would no longer abort or even consider abortion. If we see family and friends as gifts, if we would see strangers as gifts, if we would see especially those who hurt as the greatest gifts because the Lord uses ALL things for his glory. If you give him the pain, the memory and see from his perspective he will use that person to chisel the most beautiful heart you will ever see….it will be Gods heart now in yours then all you will know how to do is to love everyone despite what they do because they are gift to you, being used to refine, purify and create the purest heart in you. So you can be all that God has called you to be!

Love waits patiently for God’s timing. Love is gentle and shows kindness to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect; nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love finds delight in the truth, not in what is wrong. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things—and still remains strong.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Passion Translation

Breaking Up With Jesus

unhappy woman crying

So I know the title sounds….interesting lol but honestly that’s exactly what I did about two weeks ago. I can candidly say  any believer who has an intimate relationship has had one of these conversations with the Lord and I am not ashamed to recognize my foolishness lol. If you have been following blog you can see that I have been in a wilderness season for sure however lately the Lord has been  a lot more silent than usual for over a month now as I continue to seek him in prayer and worship still getting no definite answer.  I would continue to get Rhema scriptures on Patience, and Seeking God :

Matthew 7:7-8
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

So about a week ago in my alone time I just let him have it, in the most respectful way of course but I just poured out all my frustriaons, anger and anxiets to him. I mean he said he loved David a man after his own heart, a man who was brutally honest with his God, so I can be honest right lol . Now, a little background on my relationship with the Lord I would like to think it is a very intimate one. He infact has truly become my husband, my God whom I am submitted too and like any husband for his spouse he is demanding. So I have come to understand that I cannot do a lot of things I want too or to be frank I cannot do a lot of things he might even allow other believers too do. We all have different calling, so there in lies the problem of me always comparing myself (as hand slaps forehead) and throwing fits ( in my heart that is) lol when he tells me no when I would rather go out saying come and spend time with me.  However, in the past that wasn’t an issue at all, why I loooooved to spend time with my love because I would feel his presence so strongly, he would speak and leave me in awe. So of course I would forsake all to spend time with the Creator of the Universe, my Lord, my Groom, my Love and just relish in his presence….but I have come to know how deceiving my heart it because when the experiences stopped if I can be honest didnt seem as fun anymore.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

So the times the Lord called me for prayer of course the enemy of my soul and my own flesh began to speak so much louder with lies. “Why are you always praying Nana”,  “you know your neglected your family and friends spending all this time in prayer”, “whats the point your fasting and prayer still now answer”,  “Nana go an live a little”, “There is a function at the church the Lord will be okay with it forsake him and go…come on after all its church”, “Nana come on there is no need to spend so much time in prayer”, “Nana look at everyone else accomplishing things what have you accomplished on your knees….just stop and do what you want”,  “Man Nana nothing has changed, your wasting your time” , “Yea go out to friends to the movies, just take a break relax a little”,  “Nana Your not living, go out and live a little”,  “How are you going to meet anyone or a husband for that matter if you continue to isolate yourself and pray” …..these were some of the many, many tormenting thoughts that when through my mind which led me to this  tearful, frustrated and honest converstaion with the Lord. It went something like this:

“Lord I am tired, I am waking up early in the morning to seek your face , when I get home I seek you face in hours of worship and prayer and nothing, You said as we give up more things in this world to seek your face you would give us constellations. Where am I constellations? Some have poked fun because of the car I drive and somethings they feel I should have, Family doesn’t understand me, I don’t really have any friends but one or two, some say I am too deep, I feel so alone at times as I try to please you and be obedient but I feel like I am not living, I am so unhappy, I let go of entertainment, forsake curtain activities out of obedience for you, I fast and I pray that’s all I do everysingle day just running home to this prayer closet and I get nothing. My dreams have stopped and as i seek you….nothing. I see others who live their lives plainly and they hear from you so clearly all the time that’s not fair….I feel like I am giving and giving and getting nothing.I want to live a little, have fun. I am unhappy Lord, I just cant, I just cant do this anymore. … as I said all of this outloud in a tearful rant, hearing the echo of my voice playing back all that I said, I thought to myself.” Oh my goodness, I just broke up with Jesus…..then I bust out laughing. Truly it had to be only the Lord that caused me to laugh because I believe he was laughing too. I could just see him looking at me saying are you done now? LOL

I had to think really Nana, so this it what it takes to walk away a little, to relax a little, to give in a little, to compromise a little…to “live” a litte. Who does that sound like?  ( hand slap to my face) So upon regrouping and gathering myself I asked the Lord for forgiveness and to strengthen me. Just like the enemy to send someone too you to entice you just one more time which he did through a family member who came over a couple days after and questioning my relationship with the Lord. Guess what……he said the exact same things I had said to the Lord, stating that I need to live a balanced life, and I cant be too Holy, and that I need to live a little its good to have a relationship with the Lord but its not that serious….(my mouth dropped open…in my heart that is). I found myself not only defending my walk with the Lord but, most importantly I realized truly how foolish I sounded saying all that to the Lord and that in fact it was the cunning enemy of my soul to put those thoughts in my mind. You see majority of the time the devil is very cunning and suttle in his ways.  The Battle is truly in the mind all he  has to do is whisper thoughts in our minds, thoughts of how “little” a compromise we can take and it will be okay. However, I have come to understand is its the Small Foxes That Spoil The Vine.  The Vine of our Love For Jesus that is, its the “little’ sins or compromises we make that cause us to stray only to turn around and find out how distant we are from the Lord. Well, I am happy to say Jesus and I are still going strong so no need to worry (if anyone was heartbroken initially reading this lol) we are in a covenant marriage so it can never be broken. Even if I stumble, complain, get angry, even if I make my bed in hell you will be there hence Psalm 139.  By the grace of God I aint going nowhere, can I get an amen! lol. I am glad that the God that we serve is not intimidated by our tough questions, is not turned off by our frustrations but in fact he understand perfectly and loves us despite it all!! So for anyone else who can relate even in the least bit be encouraged.

So Father I pray that my love for you will abound more and more and more. That I would abound in knowledge and in all discernment. That by your grace I would approve the things that are excellent, that I may be sincere, without offense until the Day of your return in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen

 

 

 

Faithful In The Small Things

tumbleweed3

 

The past couple of weeks have been a little rough, well quite rough lets say a Tumbleweed Season , began to feel a mixture of uncertainty ,anxiousness and discontentment. I began to seek the Lords will concerning a couple of things that were time sensitive “Time sensitive” For me anyway lol but you know how that is with the Lord. He walks with you completely unmoved by “our time’ and If I can be honest it can be very frustrating. (side note to Jesus: Yes, Lord this is very frustrating…sigh) lol . So as I began to press into the Lord in prayer and worship ferverntly he seemed so distant. No clear answer or direction besides “Wait” I got the Rhema Psalm 27 :14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD then again did you just realize how I said  he gave no answer and as I am typing this I realized that was an answer ….hence one that I am not trying to hear ( side note: uuugh…lol this is killing me Lord, he is probably like No Nana behind disobedient might..Eeeee LOL)

So I have been asking the Lord regarding his will concerning me moving out and a host of other things. I was going to  renew my lease but had to be the Holy Spirit that nudged me to stop and seek the Lords will. Needless to say I have 16 days left and starting to get a anxious. Then strife began to rise up within a prayer meeting group I started as well, and as I caught the Lord for direction and wisdom in that. Then I began to have spiritual and physical lethargy, weakness and soreness in my body for the past two weeks. I just kept telling the Lord, I am so tired Lord, I am tired. Just feel like giving up let me just relax a little.  If I can be honest what I was really saying was I am tired of praying and not hearing from you, tired of doing the prayer meeting, youtube channel, blog and not seeing any real fruit  just feeling drained having nothing  to pour out for the Youtube channel or even blog for that matter. It almost felt like my fire just was going out slowly. Just been dry. Tired of being at a job that I am not truly fulfilled  blaaaah!  (btw in tears I did tell the Lord all of these things on my heart)  So sought the Lord for another rhema word and got spiritual warfare and ” Patience”

Isaiah 40 :31

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with twints like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint

I knew I couldn’t allow the enemies lies and tactics to take root in my mind and especially in my heart. So I went to youth service this past Tuesday honestly just for the worship. I told myself I would go for worship to be refreshed then go immediate home to spend time again in my prayer closet to war. I had no intension on listening to the message until the pastor began to speak about different season ins believers life and the season he was talking about was: The Battle. So that got my attention and I sat down which had to be by the Holy Spirit because the message was so convicting and not at all what I thought. The Lord was finally talking clearly to me or should I say I finally got it. I should know by now when the Lord seems distant of course he never is, he is right beside us but it is a test, to test our faithfulness. That’s exactly what the Tubleweed seasons are, a test in faithfulness. The Isrealites wondered for 40 years never entered into Gods promises for complaining and murmuring and that’s what I had been doing. Being so ungrateful, so frustrated, even angry. I realized that in the midst of me waiting, in the midst of oppression and in the midst of the emotions of my flesh I need to be faithful with all that the Lord had commissioned me to do.

Lord thank you for the privilege and honor it is to not only serve you but to do this crazy life WITH you. Help me to be faithful in all that you made me responsible over. Help me to have self control over my emotions and feelings which can stop me at times from being responsible. Give me the Grace to endure, preserver and wisdom to discern not only your will for my life, in all that I do  but to discern good from evil so I may judge correctly those you have called me to lead . I pray that I would do ALL things unto you so today I proclaim that:

As I volunteer at the Welcome Center at Church- I will be on time, and go above and beyond to make all who enter into your sanctuary welcome

At my Job- I will be on time, a woman of integrity in action and in deed.Not working on other projects besides the work they pay me for and having my productivity reflect Christ

For Prayer meeting- I will praying all week for those who should attend, sensitive to your leading and instruction as to what to pray and how we should pray. I will follow up during the week with those who come as well to see how they are doing

For the Youtube Channel- I will be diligent  & consistent with my messages, seeking your wisdom and your heart above the leading culture/trending news. That I would have a spirit of excellence to take this responsibility very seriously and teaching others how to know, serve and love you.

For the Blog- that I will be diligent & consistent to write a blog post every week, that I would be transparent and honest in my writing to encourage, and inspired many that God truly uses the weakest to do his business.

Lord help me to become a virtuous woman, full of love for you and others, full of wisdom, integrity & excellent in all that I do. Living a life submitted to you in obedience and unconditional trust in you. In Jesus name…..Help me Lord lol