Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

Great Faith Is Tried In The Waiting

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When the Lord says” READY, SET…..WAIT lol. As I saw this image for this blog post I just fell in love. It summed up perfectly for me not only what my walk has been like but learning that Great Faith is made in the “waiting”. You see for me I had prayed to the Lord often when I would watch sermons of the generals of the faith and read book on  great missionaries who had done great exploits for the Lord and cried out in my heart asking Lord make me women of Great faith”.  Then excited to get direction from him about the task that he had for me however, I would consistently get “be patient”, “wait” Hmm. At first when I began to follow Christ I was a lot more anxious to know my calling and excited that the Lord had called me to his services as I would wait for direction for the next step and get “wait”, then the second year “wait’, then the third year “wait”. The Lord would always provide small task here and there to ensure I was faithful, He would move me from my job, out of my apartment, back to my mothers house to ensure I was faithful and to humble me and grow me in charity, then the forth year still “waiting”. It hasn’t been easy sometimes waiting on the Lord is the most difficult thing to do but, our trust grows. So I began to have others around me began to question and not quite understand why I seemed too always  be”waiting on the Lord”. Some began to say, well you know “faith without works is dead”  as if to say that I must do something to help the Lord out rather than doing exactly what he said “wait”.

James 2:26
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. 

Many read this scripture out of context but, when you go back and read verse 23 Paul talks about Abraham “believing God” and it was counted to him as righteousness. It wasn’t through his faith only but, his works. So to simply believe is a “works of faith”. Its not only about action but, how well someone believes. It took work to believe what God spoke to Abraham and because he did believe it worked out his faith! So too have great faith means simply to believe greatly! Yes it is in the waiting where our Great faith is tried, tested and grown. We live in a generation who don’t know how to wait. We want everything fast, convenient and in a hurry. If there is any delay we call it “the enemy of progress” lol. We rush to to grow up, we rush to go to college, we rush to graduate, we rush to get married, we rush to have the career we want, we rush to have children, we rush to go to places, we rush to get into ministry if God calls us. We rush to clean, We rush to get things done…rush, rush, rush this little demon of rush. I tell you there are demons behind this as the Lord has revealed through still small voice ministry, a prophetic ministry I am apart of . Jesus often taught us that their are always demons that cause his people to rush. As I get this rhema often:

“The rabbit ran circles around the turtle but the turtle won the race. Gods processes are slow Don’t be in a hurry”

In our generation we have been provided with much knowledge about who God is but, many us….many have not really grown or matured in great faith. Especially in our country where we have everything accessible to us. In a book I read a while back a missionary who visited the U.S.  said Him and his brethren would gather together in a remote village to meet secretly to have bible study during their communion time the Lord would turn their water into wine every time. You see they were to poor to afford purchasing wine so they trusted and believed the Lord do a miracle and he blessed their faith. Upon finishing his message a young man came to him and said, why do you think in America we do not see miracles like that and the missionary simply said “because you guys have wine”. lol  In our country there is a tendency to get everything we need rather than relying on God to show up for what we need therefore having great faith.
We did a bible study at my small group last Friday as we went through the passages of scripture in Hebrew 11 and dissecting what is looks like to have great faith as our for fathers before us. So It was so amazing, refreshing , sobering and so convicting, To see how our faith measured up to these great heroes of faith who are now cloud of witness that cheer us on. From Hebrew 11  This is what Great Faith looks Like

  • Faith is framed by the word of God- What promises has the Lord given to you and will you cling to it however long it takes too be fulfilled?
  • Faith is invisible you can not see it but you hope in it and then you will see
  • Faith approves our righteousness and is a gift from God but can be given back to him when we believe in his word
  • Faith pleases God
  • Faith moves under a godly fear and obeys the word God gives
  • Faith will condemn and convict those around you
  • Faith will take a leap at Gods word even when it doesn’t know the full picture
  • Faith will take you into foreign places that will become your promise land
  • Faith waits on the Lords even when it seems impossible
  • Faith doesn’t entrust in itself but on the person who gave the promise, because He alone is Faithful
  • Faith can give you a child at any age despite what the Doctors say (just saying)
  • Faith is a lifestyle…its not only what you believe but how you live
  • Faith sometimes is not always seen on this side of heaven
  • Faith continues to believe the “word” will not pass away even if you pass away without seeing the promise
  • Faith is living for Eternity
  • Faith gives itself as a living sacrifice and willing to give to God whatever he ask no matter how precious it is to us
  • Faith doesn’t yield to fear
  • Faith endures affliction or suffering rather than to enjoy fleeting pleasures
  • Faith regarded disgrace for Christ sake as greater value than the treasures of the world
  • Faith looks ahead for the eternal reward
  • Faith perseveres through the most heaviest of tribulations or trials
  • Faith is obedient
  • Faith suffers much persecution to gain a better resurrection or glory with God
  • Faith looks crazy, sometimes sheepskin, weird clothing, hermit solitude lifestyle kind of crazy lol

So what are you waiting on God for? If you say you truly believe what does your life and lifestyle say do you have faith in Gods known word or even a prophetic word he has given you? Will you continue to wait when the world, family members, friends, pressure you to move ahead of Gods timing, Will you continue to wait on the Lord or will you be moved by a bad report, or circumstance, situations or even how you feel? Will you wait on the Lord as he is growing your faith? I believe the bigger the miracle, the greater the waiting, the greater the ministry, the greater the preparation, the bigger the testimony, the greater the testing in Faith. So will you wait beloved as the Lord is refining you into a GREAT MAN OR WOMAN OF FAITH!

“The greater you wait on me for marriage (or anything) the greater your reward”

-Jesus
(still small voice ministry)

-From Jesus With Love