Trails Of Faithfulness

lonely-girl-walking-on-road

My birthday was on the 10th of this month and which caused me to sit back and reflect on where I am now and where I used to be. I can honestly say this  was a difficult day so many arrows from the enemy telling me nothing has changed and feeling of no accomplishments. I had many people write beautiful messages on my Facebook wall and even text me but no phone calls besides family and If I can be honest I felt so alone, I thought man my Facebook page is looking like my memorial page LOL but I’m not dead yet sheesh people could just call me and tell me those nice things would’ve appreciate it so much more. You know as I am typing this I realize goodness that’s how we treat God sometimes, many know about him by quoting scriptures all day, going to church, posting bible versus, talking about Him,  and even preach about Him but how many spend time with Him. I can imagine He feels the same way sometimes. Saying  “man these people are always talking about me but their hearts are so far from me as He too feels alone, waiting and desiring them to come to him, KNOW him, spend time with him talking too Him and loving Him. (This is so the Holy Spirit by the way so no the direction of the blog but I love it he gave me that revelation as I am typing, Haha love Him!)

So since losing my job and being at home it has honestly been a struggle daily and my birthday was no different I had to tell myself “Nana get out of self pity don’t you see the Lord has done amazing things in you life don’t let what you see influence what you know” One lie I had believed was ” This is the story of my life motto” I would say it all the time in my heart when patterns in my life showed itself but during a Kairos session at my church the Lord revealed I had believed that lie, that’s exactly what it was a lie! The Lord spoke to my heart and spoke this truth instead:

Hebrews 12:2  I AM the author and finisher of your faith

I thought wow Lord, so true, you are right! My story is not written based on my experiences, my opinions or circumstances you do. Thank you Jesus! We can all take comfort in that if you are in a season which seems uncomfortable and your becoming the slightest bit hopeless or discouraged know that God is complete control he is not surprised by where you are, what has happened and where your going trust him to lead in all things knowing that he indeed works ALL things for his glory!

Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The Lord told me to lay my business, clothing line and jewelry line down to follow him. So the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to go through my old journals that chronicled my 2 1/2 years of walking with the Lord.  To go back and see the many answered prayers, the many promises and how clearly the Lord has been speaking to me. To truly see his trail of faithfulness in my life because that’s what the enemy was attacking my faith to believe that God is indeed faithful. So I did just that and below I wanted to share  the many altars of Gods faithfulness in my life.

Journal Entries:
Sept 24,2014
You spoke to my heart that your preparing me for something not sure what, you told me that “Sometimes you don’t give us the blessing because we don’t have the capacity or character to handle it”

Sep 27, 2014

The Lord gave me a dream which I believe he is saying that he has called me into ministry of the Gospel and has given me a grace of leadership, I’m in the preparation process and that the enemy is after my prayer life. God has given me a gift of discernment & intercession setting me apart to be victorious in prayer ….my thoughts, really?!!!! Lord me

October 6, 2014

During small group as we prayed for my sister with a complicated pregnancy the Lord revealed to a sister in Christ  a picture of flowing water. Not knowing my sister had no water in her belly and her baby was in danger of death the Lord declared he would provide the water to sustain that child

October 15, 2014

I told the Lord that ” I would be bold for him and take the Love of God and be a world changer” after hearing Pastor Ravi Zacharias speak.

November 4, 2014

I asked the Lord to reveal if my sister should began her poetry book and he gave me a dream that night directing me that it wasn’t the right time

November 21, 2014

Prayed for a close friend who needed a breakthrough and she  got a job that same week

December 2, 2014

Had intense spiritual attack of lust/perversion and after pressing in for a week the Lord gave me the victory

December 11,2014

The Lord finally gave me direction on my calling by admonishing me saying ” If you don’t know my ways and they are not implanted in your hearts how can you then walk in your assignment” (shut me up) lol

December 22, 2014 (fulfilled prophecy)

A brother in Christ calls me with a prophetic word that people are drawn to me because of Christ . That my walk will be very uncomfortable but I should walk by faith and that many will come to know Christ through me. Also that their would be loved ones who would distant themselves from me but I shouldn’t be sad God would restore our relationship.

January 28,2015
The Lord reveals in a  dream that my brother would be released sooner than later…(and he was)

February 27, 2015
I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me how to pray

April, 15, 2015

I met my sisters new boyfriend and prayed right then if he was meant to be with my sister to stay for bible study and if not for him to leave. (Not only did he stay but he surrendered his life and now getting married next year!)

April 22, 2015

The Lord spoke to move out of my moms house and finally got approved for my own apartment!

June 05, 2015

The Lord put it on my heart to began a fellowship meeting at my house despite fears and insecurities. (has grown and do it everyday Friday)

February 11,2015
The Lord confirmed that he wanted me to start a blog and youtube channel despite fears and insecurities. ( hence writing today  with 22 blogs and 640 subscribers later….God is amazing!)

January 18, 2015

In he midst of deep hurt and betrayal He spoke ” I am transforming you and your family”

November 27, 2015
Prayed for divine friendships and relationship that go deep ( he has answered that!)

December 8, 2015

Gave me the idea to extend our Date Night with Jesus event and take it outside to the Homeless. ( by his grace were doing that this month will be our fourth time!…he is faithful)

Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

I had stop because I couldn’t write all his promises on this blog! LOL Wow, reading all of these going down in memory lane made me smile. My God is indeed faithful when you are in the midst of a trials, test or suffering the enemy of your soul would love for you to focus on your present situation and forgot all that God has said and done but truly Gods word does not return void. If he said it he will do it!! Thinking of the many times I wrote down my thoughts not realizing it was actually Jesus speaking and now looking back realizing that it was indeed him! That  truly is a different type of joy I get knowing that I hear the voice of God 🙂 How I thank him for such a wonderful grace! So what promise are you going to revive or cling too one again? Know that God is indeed faithful as you continue to Trust him, Follow his lead in blind obedience you will be able to look back and be in awe at what he does in you life!

 

 

I Am A Little Pencil In The Hand Of God

 

pencil2

This term was coined by Mother Teresa and she went on to say that  ” I am little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world” and was given to me by a friend recently. Oh, what a truthful and beautiful statement this is for us all, well that’s if we allow it to be. We are all created with a story in mind by the hand of the creator however many times we want to dictate where our lines are drawn or better yet write our own stories. Many of us want to used by God but are not willing to let go of complete control and allow him  to write HIS story through us because that’s what our lives are…..HIS story told through our tears, pain, suffering, trials, celebrations, disappointments, test & achievements to guide stories. Just as the bible is written and inspired by the Holy spirit through many different accounts of Christ disciples so will the story of our lives. It should ad on to the testimony of Jesus Christ who he is and how he uses the lowliest of vessels to bring him glory. As we allow Him to write you can trust that the lines of your life will fall in pleasant places

Psalm 16:6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

However, I got the most interesting picture the Lord gave me. That we can  be can be different type of pencils which can be a little more difficult to write HIS story with. There is the graphite pencil, the mechanical pencil and wooden pencil .

grahite-pencil

Graphite Pencil-Used to for sketches for detail and to draw deep dark lines. It is it the one that stains the paper and pigments it , being able to create a trace after it, which is well-known as line. Interesting definition of a graphite pencil in the hands of God can be a person who is deep, passionate in all that do and very detailed. They draw out their lives intentionally however “its stains the paper and pigments it” so  having no eraser  they give no room for error in themselves or others. Which causes them to be critical or judgmental of others staining them with the same idea. They strive for perfection which is impossible without the hand of God because he always rewrites our plans which never look perfect. It creates traces of wrong turns, should couldas, and achievement in the persons life which continues to have them look back then looking forward to what God is doing

mechanical-pencil

Mechanical pencil-or a propelling pencil is a pencil with a replaceable and mechanically extendable solid pigment core called a “lead” /ˈlɛd/. The lead, often made of graphite, is not bonded to the outer casing, and can be mechanically extended as its point is worn away. In the hands of God can be a person who strong within their OWN strengthen and not on the Lord. They are mechanical in thinking  and solving problems, very analytical and reason before they go any further. They may follow the culture, work faster and are quick to adapt but in the Hand of God he desire for us to submitted, patient and quick to obey HIS lead. With the lead of this pencil being able to be easily broken and even run out at times. This person can be a hard worker but since its all in their strength, they burn out easily and being mechanical when they find themselves not having control and completely broken they have no where to turn too since they were relying on themselves. It causes them to be completely out of use and out of Gods will

pencil

a Simple Wooden Pencil-Most common used Pencil. In the Hands of God it is the most simple of all pencils but the beauty of this pencil is that it can become anything, carved into different shapes but still be used to perfom the same task. This pencil can be broken and still be used, it may have dull moments when the lead cannot be seen but use a pencil sharpener then the lead is yet again available for use. Just as a person who is broken so many times can be used  by God and when they find themselves with out hope or purpose they are sharpened again by the word of God or even by their brothers/sisters around them.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another

with the eraser they are able to have God erase their mistakes from the past, redirect their direction when they turn a wrong way and create a beautiful masterpiece out of a mess. In Gods hand all things are possible as we yield to him to break us, sharpen us, and write HIS story through us because one thing ALL pencils have in common is that they are a tool to be used, within itself a pencil is useless unless someone is using it for the purpose in which it was created for. So will you let God use you to write HIS story?

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mother-teresa
The late Mother Teresa

 

I don’t think so. I don’t claim anything of the work. It’s His work. I’m like a little pencil in His hand. That’s all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it’s His work, and that He is using others as instruments – all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.- Mother Teresa

 

When God Calls You To Walk On The Waves With Him

leap-of-faith

I know a lot of times we hear when God  is calling you higher that means your going deeper which is true, but a lot of times it never looks they way you envision it. You think a deeper dive in the ocean but he actually means he is calling you higher. Higher level of faith, trust, hope in him. Not only does he call you out of the boat to walk on the water but he calls you then to go deeper which requires a deeper level of trust and faith by walking on the waves with him.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.

My walk has been nothing short of interesting to say the least, just a few weeks ago I wrote a blog about contending with contentment at my job.  The job that I was finding difficult to wake up every morning to go to0, the job that I was complaining about, the job that the Lord was teaching me to be excellence, content, and faithful at……..well that job let me go last Tuesday. You would think I would be excited or relieved but it was such a shock, very unexpected. I think sometimes the Lord is thinking this girl doesn’t know what she wants, isn’t he so gracious lol! I woke up that morning excited in the wee hours of 4 am to spend time with the Lord and wonderful time it was in his presence, worship and reading the word before work. I was so full of joy that morning, now I had heard rumors of our positions being changed but not losing our jobs however, I went in that morning finding out we had a surprise meeting and they told us we were let go and to go home. I wasn’t sure what to think, if I can be honest inside I was keeping cool but on the inside I think my soul was jumping lol All these thoughts of doubt, fear, anxiety hit me..one of the lies of the enemy was telling me “see you woke up spend all that time with the Lord and he didn’t forwarn you, you don’t really hear from Jesus” that was the hardest lie I was trying to cast down.

OUT OF THE BOAT

You see, the Lord called me to lay down my life for him almost  3 years ago. I had intended on pursuing my own business I had at the time, my clothing and jewelry line and move to NY until I had a radical encounter with my beloved Jesus and it changed everything. So when he asked me  almost 3 years ago to live for him I said “of course, I will tell everyone about you and what you have done for me, my life is yours no turning back! I surrender all to you Jesus”. So when the Lord lead me to my job I thought I wouldn’t be there for long or so I thought a few months turned into a year, then the one year turned to two and I was anxious along the way but the Lord kept telling me to wait, Nana wait….

Psalm 27:14
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

ON THE WATER

So in the midst of waiting he began to change my perspective and stir my heart for him in such a way to have my life be a witness for others. That wasn’t my intention at the job but he began to show me that I was there by assignment in the midst of me waiting.  So I started to notice the Lord giving me opportunities to share him with my coworkers, to pray and encourage and he even opened the door to began a prayer meeting at the job! Which I looked forward too and enjoyed, he began to give me words of knowledge and dreams about my coworkers to draw them closer to him! Indeed he was stirring my passion to be bold and courageous for him however, he began speaking to my heart to totally surrender and abandon myself to his will. I would get this word over and over again to the point it became frustrating because I thought I had totally surrendered, I wasn’t sure what else I needed too. I kept telling the Lord all is yours, I live a hedged life because you ask that of me, I am at this job surrendered to waiting on you because you said too what else Lord. Thinking to myself I am like peter Lord, you called me to walk on the water jump out of the boat called  “Nanas idea of her life” to follow you and I did just that not sure what else I can give…oh but was I mistaken. He wanted TOTAL SURRENDER & ABONDMENT which means whatever may come, whatever you allow Jesus I am yours. I remember when I started hat job and being around other Christians friends who were called and knew their calling I was so insecure at that time and doubtful because I didn’t know mine so I went on lunch break crying out to the Lord to show me my calling please just show me and he said:

“I cant show you I have to lead you”

WALKING ON THE WAVES

So now he has lead me out the boat, on the water now even higher to walking on the wave. Losing my job caused my eyes to be fixed on the storm rather than on Jesus gaze and his hands that have been right in front of me. I knew the next step from this job would be walking into my purpose and that’s why I was so anxious to leave because I thought I was ready. But we know God is very funny and he will always give you what you ask for just not the way you want it lol That’s exactly what he has done, he has called me higher and deeper in him, not to stop walking on the water called faith, not to go back to the boat called comfortability by getting another job, no he has called me to continue to grab his hand, gaze in his eyes and trust him as he guides me step by step to walk above the storm and to walk on the waves. I have learned that that I am actually always on assignment whenever, with whoever and wherever I am at. I am a pilgrim on an journey here on this earth and that to surrender is not just a one time choice but a daily choice to say today I die that you live Jesus may I do your will and not my own. So I have been asked the question so many times what are going to do, what’s next, what are you waiting for? All I can say is that I am being led by the one who loves me the most, who created me and knows my purpose and is threading this beautiful tapestry of grace called my life and only he knows the finished work. As he is building my trust in him in a deeper way, growing a greater level of faith in me and sanctifying me for his use. Of course he has me waiting again for the next direction. As I sit at his feet I find myself wondering what he is up too slightly anxious if I can be honest but excited about this crazy adventure that I get to do with my forever life partner, leader and guide Jesus!

No God isn’t fixing it but he still Saves!

I saw a trending article from NY Daily news this morning about the shooting in San Bernardino that states “God isn’t fixing this” which prompted me to write this blog via the Holy Spirit. jesus_saves Everyone can agree regardless of your belief or faith that a shift is happening, unprecedented like never before and that our nation, our world, is in rapid decline. Some attribute all this to the climate change, history just repeating itself, or false spiritualism. However, if I can let you in on some “good news”, that this was all written and foretold of this time in a book that so many have come to dismiss and discount, The Bible. You see the Lord prophesied about future events in the Last days about it being perilous times.

2 Timothy 3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!

that you would hear “wars & rumors of wars, but SEE YOUR NOT ALARMED, SUCH THINGS MUST HAPPEN, but the end is till to come” Matthew 24:6. You see videos popping up like never before of people glorifying fights, pushing even death, having a mother, brother, sister, man & woman turn on each other on camera for 15 seconds of fame as the bible also prophesied “They will be divided father against son, son against father…mother against daughter, daughter against mother”…Luke 12:53. Now we have America turning away from the Christian faith and accepting the doctrine that all is welcome, God is in all religions. We have more atheist and agnostics than ever before and the Christian faith is fast becoming the minority which, the Lord also prophesied in 1 Timoty 4:1The Spirit clearly says that in LATER TIMES some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons……Oh but there is that wonderful “Good news”!! When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near. Luke 21:28. These things are taking place so look up my fellow brothers and sisters the time is very, very, near! The time has come for AMERICA TO WAKE UP…no longer does wealth, riches, our health and even good life=Christianity or the God we serve. Christianity is about Loving our enemies (those who persecute us), Faith in God’s word when our circumstance and everything around us says otherwise, Giving your time, resources, your heart to others in service, sacrificing your WHOLE life, worldly pleasures all that you are and have for God purpose, Holiness turning from sin, no longer making excuses why you sin, seeking righteousness and being about Gods business. Which is SOULS, the lost they are so precious to him don’t stop praying for them. So many people don’t know him but know religion. He is calling us to rise up and be that light in this increasing dark world. He calls us not to love our lives because this isn’t all we have to live for ” whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” Matthew 16:25. So when senseless acts of tragedy like this happen I ask myself did the deceased have a relationship with the Lord, were they saved? The time is here when we will be soon be faced with death, of our loved ones, our children even ourselves but the Lord tells us how to overcome “They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives and were unafraid to die.” Revelation 12:11 Are you okay with death, are you afraid of dying? If so then the question begs do you really know where you are going? Our lives, Our soon lifestyle and even freedom in America will soon be shaken, crumbling to the ground will you cower in fear, turn away from your faith because this is not the God that you know, will you take up arms and began to take matters into your own hands, will you begin to listen to other doctrines, teaching on “religion” and find one that works for you. Most importantly will you give up and stop praying to the one that is the Beginning and the End, the ONE who knows it all, prophesied of it all, the ONLY ONE able to save and is soon returning Jesus Christ! Our lives our not our own, Christianity is not a religion it is a relationship. Jesus Christ is real & alive, he yearns to have a relationship with all that he created and if you don’t already know him I am talking to you.

Don’t allow fear to leave you confused, hopeless and paralyzed because of what is going on. The Lord spoke of all these things happening & taking place. Unfortunately, that means that these shooting and attacks will increase they won’t stop and the world won’t began to get better as many are hoping as the Lord tells us “The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever”. 1 John 2:17. For our hope doesn’t come from this world but in God, his word and the eternal life that is promised in Son! The only way you can have that eternal life is through Jesus Christ and Christ alone there is no other way to God. The bible is Good news from cover to cover, it tells of our beloved father who knew we would make a mess of this world and gave as an amazing way out of eternal death by sending his only son Jesus to die for our sins. With his shed blood redeemed us back to the father so anyone who believes in him and follows him will be saved from this dying world in to eternal life with him! What a wonderful Grace, so in response to that article no, God is not fixing it because we live in a fallen world that has removed him out of our government and rapidly out of our nation. When we remove God we remove his protection. Furthermore, most importantly he foretold all of this happening because the earth is in fact passing and he is soon returning to restore and redeem this earth as it should’ve have been, However God still saves, he is not concerned with the earth than he is concerned with your soul, and those around having eternal life being in a relationship and fellowship forever. Will you accept his grace today and if you have will you share this wonderful good news & hope with others in a dying world! So lets continue to praying for our nation, Gods will, those affected in the tragic shooting & the souls of this nation. God bless!