New Year, New Habit

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October 4th, 2019 I took vows for my vocation as sister of the Fransican Oblate of Mount Carmel which so happened to be St. Francis of Assisi “ feast day”. It was the most exiciting, emotional, nerve racking day of my life lol. That is, the day I officilay said goodbye to the world and took on my new name and earthly garments… my habit

As a protestant growing up I was unaware of who St. Francis of Assisi was or the saints at large. I didn’t know very much about the “religious life” only what I had seen on TV, with nuns and monks. My dad however, is Catholic and upon me giving my life to Jesus he had mentioned to me that maybe I should join a catholic convent because I was so zealous for the Lord. Immeaditely I retored in my pride that the Lord was not into denominations and I didn’t need to join a covent to walk out my faith.” Oh my, how I reaked with pride and still do but the Lord is truly bringing me lower and lower in humility as he shows me the nothing I truly am. So now 2 years later, I have taken my religious vows and joined the order of one of the greatest saints, who would’ve thought… I know Jesus did lol. He is the only one who could’ve taken a fashion designer pursuing the world, success, honor, fame and put her in the most beautiful garment in all the world…a habit.

1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

You see St. Francis took those words quite literally, and all of God’s word. His heart burned to live out the gospel just as Jesus did and by the Lords grace he did just that. He was a son of a wealthy merchant who was also into the high life. He embarked on a military career where he wanted to become a knight. However, through a serious of illness which stopped this pursuit and 2 visions from God. The Divine intervened and he began to pursue the Lord and in a church looking upon a cross he heard Jesus say “Go, Francis and repair my church, which as you see is falling into ruin”. Francis immeaditely thought the Lord was speaking about the church he was in, St. Damaian which was run down. So he went to his Fathers shop and sold all the fine linens to get money to rebuild the church. The Father was irate, renounced him, beat Francis, took him to trial before the Bishop of his time demanding all the money back. The Bishop at the time told him to give his Fathers money back and that the Lord would provide for him to rebuild the church. At that point Francis, had a divine enlightened as the scripture from Matthew came to his mine “ Our Father who are in Heaven”. He renounced his entire family, father, fortune and realized now had a Father in heaven who would provide for him. He needed no connection with the world, he stripped off all his clothes gave them to his Father as the Bishop covered him and as he turned his back literally on the world. He then placed upon himself “ a brown potatoe sackcloth” as his garment of choice. To love our lady Poverty as our Lord Jesus did

St. Francis, heart burned to live the gospel out literally by these scriptures revealed to him by the Lord.

Matthew 10:8 Freely have you received freely give.

Luke 9:3 “Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. Don’t take a walking stick, a traverlers bag, good, money or even a change of clothes”

Matthew 19:21 Jesus answered, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possesions and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven. Then come, follow me”

Francis took these words literally and lived out these scriptures unto his death which have impacted the church still centuries later. These same scriptures the Lord burned in my heart to take very seriously and literally. After losing my job, I began to give all my things away, giving to the poor and he desires for me not too charge any fee in anything that I do or give becaue I have freely reiceved. So coming to New Mexico I had no idea what the Lord had in store and didn’t know what to expect. However, it was after a month of being here that I learned Father and Mother Clare where Fransiscan and as we watched the movie “ Brother sun, sister Moon” about the life of St. Francis of Assisi my heart burned yet again. This is always wanted I wanted, or better yet what the Lord wanted for me! I just didn’t see any example in front of me to follow.

Now putting on the habit was a different story, when I found out that I would have too, or let me rephrase that. That I would get to wear the habit for the rest of my life as a wedding garment unto the Lord I was repulsed at first. I could live the life of a Franscican with the Lords help but, to really let go of the world in that way, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. It took about 2 more months after watching that film then one day the Lord impressed it on Father Ezekiels heart that he wanted his bride in a habit NOW. No more waiting, not only that but, he wanted to give me a new name I was perplexed to say the least. After hearing these things which I couldn’t object too my heart was racing. I came face to face with the reality that maybe my heart was still in the world, I was so attached to my looks, my persona, and my name. My, my, my sheesh, does someone need to die to self or what lol. Immeaditly I told them I would adhere to the Lords request but, if they would give me a moment too to talk with him. So I ran to Blessed Mothers prayer tree and just bared my heart too her. I told her about my fears, anxieties, and once again what people would think. However, I told her if Jesus wanted this I wanted it too but please give me the peace and fill my heart to love the Lords will. She did just that as she always does!! Blessed Mother is the best, I found myself within an hour flooded with such peace , joy and even a new name. I heard in my spirit “ your name is Mary Elisha, Mary Elisha” so I sought the Lord on discernment and he confirmed that was him.

So on Oct 4th, which we didn’t plan for but Jesus did, I took my religious vows and made a professed my vocation as a third order Franscain oblate. Nana, died that day for the world and all of heaven too see as my witnessess that I indeed had renounced the world and had taken up my wedding garment from the Lord, my habit. An oblate is simply the noun tense of an Oblation which means: a thing presented or offered to God. So one who has made an offering of their life to God as a living sacrifice, picking up their cross daily and following Jesus. The grey habit is to signify “sackcloth” and the brown portion of my garment is called a scapular. It represents Our Blessed Mother who came to one of the Carmelite saints “Simon Stock” wearing the same habit in an apparition. She was wearing the brown scapular and holding a scapular that goes around your neck. Also holding infant Jesus who was wearing the same thing. The scapular represents our servanthood putting the apron on, washing the feet of all those we meet and a brown cord with 5 knots for our 5 vows. A vow of chasity (which is faithfulness to the Lord), a vow of obedience, a vow of holy poverty, a vow of substantial prayer and a vow of substantial solitude. Carmelites dedicated their lives very much like Prophet Elijah and Elisha in prayer and solitude.

I took off the old life, the old nature, the old creation which belongs to my former manner of life which was corrupt with deceitful desires and now have put on my new self, increated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. I have been made new! My habit is a sign to my family, friends and the world that I no longer belong to the world nor love the world but have been sent as the Lords’s bride and disciple to serve, love, honor all in humility, simplicy and poverty.

I hope you get a “New Habit” this year too!

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-From Jesus With Love

Thank You For The Fire

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Fire purifies

Fire refines

Fire purifies

Fire burns

Fire is hot

Fire gives off light

Fire is able to ignite everything it touches.

Fire stands out

Jesus will always be with you in the Fire

Daniel 3:25
He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of Man”

I was in adoration before the Lord a couple of days ago in worship, when he played the song “ Thank you for the Fire” by Ginny Owens and the song struck my heart so deeply. My walk with the Lord has been full of many trials however these past few months where the most fieriest trials yet however, as I found myself before him in such peace and full of hope I can actually say with my whole heart “ Thank you Lord, for the Fire”. 

As believers we repeat this common phrase often in prayer, conversations, in our worship music “ Lord set me on fire”, “Lord burn in me”, “Lord make me a living sacrafice”…..urm do we really know what that means? lol That is one of the most dangerious prayers and phrases to cry out to the Lord because he will do just that. To be set on fire for the Lord is to go through the fire to be purified, refined, crushed, pressed until all that remains is him burning within you. Many want the fire of God but, are not willing to burn in suffering and trials to obtain that purity and refinement that he uses for our good for his glory. I too cried out to the Lord so many times in worship and in prayer that I wanted to be set on fire for him, that he should burn everything in me that is not of him, that I wanted to be a living sacrafice a sweet aroma to him and he is doing just that so Lord I thank you.

Jesus said if you wish to follow me you must deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me”. The Lord has created designer crosses for each of us which come with designer fires as well or fireary trials. The crosses in our lives he speaks about are any pain, inconvenice, test, or trials from the greatest to the ones we think so insignificant are crosses we get to carry for the Lord for salvation of souls. A simon’s cross, we will all suffer in this world but when you unite your sufferig to Jesus offering all that he is permitting to him then you are denying your (self-love)  carrying your cross and following Jesus. There you will indeed find your faith and the greatest intimacy with Jesus. Some of these cross come in a form of fieary trials a death of a loved one, sickness, betrayl, being slandred with defimation of character, false accusations, demonic attack or oppression, troubled or sick child or family memember, infidelity, sudden loss of income/job, persecution, false imprisonment, injustice, sexual or emotional abuse just to name a very few. These are trials the Lord allows in many of his childrens lives to refine them to purity as they also grow in faith and much virtue.

WHEN YOU TRUST God In the fire you will find HEAT which allows all foriegn fragments and particles to rise to the surface of your heart to be cleaned. You will find what it is you really belive by your reaction and response as the Lord begans to create a Pure heart within you that responds like Christ “Father nevertheless not my will be done yours be done”. In the fire you will find THE MOUTH OF YOUR ENEMIES CLOSED. Just as Daniel found the lions mouths shut you will see the Lords hands of deliverance as you continue to trust him even in the midst of heat all around you. In the fire you will find supernatural PEACE that passes all understanding that will keep your heart and eyes fixed on him alone. There will always be FOUR PEOPLE IN THE FIRE…. You, Father, JESUS and Holy Spirit!! Just as he was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego he too will be your sole companion in the fire the one to carry you through, protect you and deliver you. In the fire you will have great intimacy with Jesus because he is nearest to those with a brokenheart because when you suffer he suffers too. In the fire you will find THAT HE PLACED WITNESSES TO WATCH YOUR TRIAL UNFOLD TO TESTIFY OF HIS GLORY! Just as he did with Daniel even his enemies were astonished at God’s saving power and were looking for them to be burned by the fire and just as Job’s friends who came rather not to console him but, to admonish him in his trial. However, the Lord used them to witness his deliverance and restoration power in Job’s life.

Daniel 3:26-28

26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.

So don’t you see the Fireary trial you are going through right now is purifying your heart to be conformed to the image of Christ. It is testing your faith so that you will have unmovable confidence in the Lord. It is growing your character so that may be able to obtain the fullness of grace he has for you. It is teaching you patience so you may be fully persuaded in the Lords faithfulness. It is growing you in brothlery love and teaching you not to be moved by the opnions of men. It is strenghting your trust in the Lord so that you will rely soley on him. It is growing you in virtue and sanctifying you so that you may be blamless and spotless on that day lacking nothing. So my friends began to thank the Lord for the Fire, thank him for his immense mercy and grace towards you. Thank him for his faithfulness and amazing love he has bestowed on you to draw you so close to him in this way. Thank him for his goodness, for the amazing testimony he has already written for you that will indeed be for your good and His glory as many souls will be won upon hearing your story .

Thank him for the Fire, for the greater the Fire, the greater the refinement, the greater the faith, the greater the intimacy, the greater the testimony and the greater the LIGHT that will blaze for him for all the world to see!! 

Jesus I thank you for the FIRE!!!

-From Jesus with Love

 

NOTHING Will Stop Me From Doing The Will Of God

rhemas.php

SNEER a contemptuous or mocking smile, remark, or tone.

PERSECUTION: hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs

THREATS: a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

SUFFERING: The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

HUNGER:a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

COLD: of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

FLATTERY: excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

ENTREATY: an earnest or humble request.
FRIENDSHIPS: a relationship between friends.

 

I received this rhema from the Lord months ago and now how I know so well why he gave it to me. In these past few months I have experienced all the above with such intensity to detour and derail me from what the will of God is for my life but by his grace Nothing has stopped me. This walk with Jesus has been a lonely, narrow and many times painful road. Yet, every time I have been met with resistance the Lord continues to give me the grace to not only preserver, endure but to say “yes’ to him. He did say …

Matthew 7:14
How NARROW is the gate and DIFFICULT the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Oh how we can forget that so easily in a generation and culture where especially in the western world following Jesus doesn’t seem to cost much because the Gospel has become comfortable, self-seeking, world and people pleasing, prosperity driven Gospel. Which is so far removed from what Jesus said Luke 14:25-27 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.  What we have been really taught is not to follow Christ but, to follow our denominational traditions, fundamentalist beliefs, and even follow after popular ministers. However, Jesus made it very clear to count the cost to be his disciple you must not love family, even your own life to follow me. I would say that is the biggest attachment and impediment to anyone who wants to live a religious life for the Lord. The apostles all had professions, some had wives and children but, immeaditly they heard the voice of the Messiah, Jesus Christ calling them. They stopped and left immeaditly to follow him. I can imagine the suffering they went thru and endured for the sake of loving the Lord more than they loved their lives.

The Lord has a known will which is given through is word. Instructions for any believer to live their lives according to his standard and commandments. Furthermore, the Lord has a “unique” will for every soul upon this earth. Its is our job through pursing intimacy with Jesus that he reveals or better yet leads us into his perfect will for our lives. My Journey to becoming a Franciscan sister has been full of opposition and even since answering the call to leave my family, friends, church and follow Jesus to New Mexico (His Will).  I had faced sneers from loved ones the day before I was to leave for New Mexico they had an intervention at my going away gathering. Where  they invited a pastor without my knowing as they prayed over me for deliverance because they felt I was deiceved I still continued to follow (His Will). I have faced much persecution when I began to share my beliefs on social media concerning the communion of saints and our wonderful Blessed Mother. As many people criticized me on all fronts both publicy and privately I still continued to follow (His Will). I faced a warning from my church by posting the Rosary Prayer and prophetic messages from Jesus to warn his brides to pray for our President because it didn’t fit with the beliefs of the Church so was given an ultimatum to remove my post or step down form leadership. I still continued to follow (His Will) and stepped down.  I was faced with entreaties from my loved ones to please honor my mothers wishes, my family name and come back home because this wasn’t what they had planned for MY life…I still continued to follow (His Will).  When I finally arrived in New Mexico and found myself facing very cold nights on the mountain, sleeping in a tent, and having to a Lords supper at night in the cold. I could’ve, just went to bed early or even called it quits because of the the weather and living conditions but…I still continues to follow (His Will). I faced many demonic attacks in dreams, sleep paralysis, demonic oppression…I still continue to follow (His Will). I  have faced much suffering and I know I will continue too in this walk with the Lord as he is giving me the grace to count it all joy!

I feel the most painful and sure way the enemy will use to detour many from the Lords will is FRIENDSHIPS through men’s opinion and the fear of men. Jobs friends came in the guise to console him when he lost everything but rather all turned too criticize him harshly instead in his darkest moment. Even the Lord was tempted by Satan through his closest friends and disciple, Peter to stop him from carrying The Cross, that would bring redemption to all mankind.  Matthew 16: 22-23 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Jesus was abandoned and betrayed by the closest ones to him when he needed them the most…following the will of His Father. So how then can we think we will be greater than the master? I too lost all my friends and relationships. The closest ones too me have indeed criticized my walk, many have said the same things Peter said as I made my decision to pick up MY cross and follow the Lord to New Mexico “Nana, Far be it that you are hearing from Jesus, Far be it to dishonor your Parents, Far be it that you should move to New Mexico and leave everything behind, Far be it that Jesus wants us to suffer, Far be it that you are called to a life of Poverty, Far be it to be to pray to the saints or Blessed Mother, Far be it that you should follow Jesus in this way …but, they too were not mindful of the ways of God. You see, I must remember that its not them. Many have pure intentions and motives but, it is indeed Satan working through all to stop me…to stop you from doing the will of God. You must not be attached to anyone or anything to follow Jesus, not moved by mans options or even the hatred of hell. For truly when something is the will of God all Hell will come against it…literally.

My brethren it will COST YOU EVERYTHING to follow Jesus and the call of God upon your life. If you have no resistance or oppression then you might want to discern again if your going in the right direction. We are called to follow that same thorny, painful road Jesus took to calvary, yes he finished it on the cross but, he calls us to now pick up our cross and follow him down that same narrow road too die to ourselves that He may live. Which is filled with much tribulation but, so much more consolation, freedom, joy, peace that passes understanding, contentment and deep intimacy you couldn’t imagine!! I wouldn’t trade my cross nor do I regret anything the Lord has allowed in my walk. For it has strengthen me, humbled me, grown me, strecthed me, and drawn me into such a deep intimacy place with Jesus. For the greater the suffering, the greater the intimacy. So my friend, what is stopping you from saying “yes” to Jesus from doing the will of God? Set your face like flint, put your hand to the plough and don’t look back. Trust him he is so Freaking FAITHFUL!!

Luke 5:10-11
Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.    ”Leave everything and follow me”

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Jesus Is Calling To His Brides “Will You Stay With Me”?

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Hosea 2:14-16
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,and bring her into the wilderness,and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’

Many of us don’t realize the Lord still suffers tremendously because of indifference, lost souls, suffering souls and his unfaithful brides. Yes, God still suffers because there is suffering in the world however he looks for his brides for comfort on the cross but many times finds himself left alone as he was during his crucifixion. Forsaken by all besides his disciple John and his Mother, Blessed Mary.

Being here in this prayer community I have had the opportunity to experience the Lord in the most profound way as I have never had before. Father Ezekiel who is our Bishop many times experiences stigmata which is (in Christian tradition) marks corresponding to those left on Jesus’ body by the Crucifixion, said to have been impressed by divine favor on the bodies of St. Francis of Assisi and others). However, he experiences spiritual stigmata where the Lord takes him through the passion in pain. I found myself sitting at his bed side through one of the episodes and many times the Lord won’t tell him who he is suffering for but this time he did. The Lord referenced it was “his unfaithful bride” and that he was looking to be consoled.  As the Lord kept telling his unfaithful bride “what about the children, if not for me then what about the children?” Oh, how those words cut my heart to pieces. The Lord was speaking about the spiritual children him and his bride birth or can birth together if she would surrender herself to only him. However, the world and the summer season have taken his brides attention away from being with him. As I began to pray I found myself in a vision of “the passion”.

“I saw Jesus carrying the cross and the jeering crowd hurling insults and throwing rocks at him. What touched me the most is that I first saw Jesus with his “bride” in a room as he was crying out to her, please don’t leave me if not for me then for the children. This “bride” was so indifferent and utterly annoyed at his request as she stood oppositite of him with her arms folded. Completely rejecting him then stomping out the door leaving him in tears. Then the scene went back to the passion as he was carrying his cross with blood, tears and sweat running down his cheeks, so sad, lonely and utterly downcast. I saw our Lady, Blessed Mother there walking silently along with her son in the crowd her heart broken too. Then I saw his “bride” very close to the road to Del A rosa but she was in the homes of other man. Being with them, spending time with them and one man said “isn’t that your husband being crucified don’t you want to be with him”. Yet, the bride responded with such repugnance and disdain to him as she continued to carry on with her other “lovers (the world).  Then I saw other brides who were in the marketplace in Jerusalem buying and selling things as the people would say “isn’t that your husband being crucified” and she too would respond with compelte indifference with no care or love at all for Jesus as she continued…business as usual. Then finally we got to the top of calvary as they had erected Jesus on the crucifix. Then other bride came this time to mock at him, curse him tell him suffering was a disgrace, she was so ungrateful and utter despised the cross. Jesus, heart was being ripped to shreds at her words, His wife, His bride, the Lover of his heart had not only rejected him but betrayed and mocked him just like the crowd. He was in tears and so was Blessed Mother as she stood facing him, her heart broken as well to think she had entrusted Her heart, her son, into the arms of a women she though would love him  and care for him as his wife. 

Then the vision ended…I was in tears as I cried. Remembering I too used to be that unfaithful wife. Lord if we only knew how much you still need us, need our company, our lives, our love and our surrender fully as brides of Christ so I went to console him. A few days later I began to pray the rosary, the 7 sorrowful mysteries to be exact which trace 7 aspects of Mary’s life with Jesus where the sword as Simeon prophecies had perfected her heart

Luke 2:35
so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

 

So as I continued to pray I envision myself in every scene  of Blessed Mothers life with Jesus and focused on being with him there. I got to the sixth sorrowful mystery where Jesus was taken down from the cross and I was yet again in front of his passion. I saw Jesus, now dead completely uncovered, beaten, flesh torn and ripped with much much blood as I looked at him with such sorrow. To the left I saw Our Lady, Blessed Mother who was the one his body was given too. However, she looked at me with tenderness as she was in an all black veil and beckoned for me to come. She backed away and motioned for the Lords body to be given to me instead. I was amazed as i walked up close to the cross and the soldiers began to lower his body I realized I was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress as the rested Jesus in my arms. All I could feel was such deep sorrow as I looked at his mutilated body and immediately took off my veil to cover his nakedness and wrapped it around him. Then I laid him gently down as I began to rip pieces of my wedding dress skirt to wrap the gaping wounds of his feet, his legs, and head with the crown of thorns removed. All I could do was kiss, my Jesus and tell him how sorry I was for what I did. Then the next scene I saw myself now in the tomb. Our Lady Blessed Mother was there and had just finished wrapping him in swaddling clothes for his burial. She looked up at me beckoned me to come once me and sit with him. So I did this time as she smiled gentle at me and as she walked away she said “Stay with him”. So I did, for a while just looking at his lifeless body and kissing his hands. Then I came out of the vision.

I never knew I could experience the Lord in such a real, personal and passionate way not only through these prayers but through his passion. Our God still suffers, each soul is his bride and we must ask ourselves where we fit in. Which bride our we to the Lord. The one with many lovers, (money, man, the world etc), the bride who is to busy ( with family, holidays, career etc) or the bride who despises the cross (who is always complaining, hates to suffer, doesn’t carry their cross etc). Which bride are you? The Lord is calling to his “unfaithful brides not only come back to me but stay with me”. The Lord gets so much consolation from our companionship, our love, our presence. Yes! Jesus if fully God but he is also Man still…and just like any man he has needs, the needs of those he loves and those who say they love him. Please there is so much suffering going on in this world and Jesus is hurting. He calling out to his brides….he is calling out to you beloved. Will you stay with him? Be with him in worship, Be with him in prayer stay with him.

-From Jesus with Love

Spiritual Muscles Are Grown In The Fire

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The Lord indeed uses temptation, trials, problems, tribulation, the valleys of life, the wilderness and the fire to grow our spiritual muscles……just so he can then give us a crown of beauty instead of ashes

 James 1:1-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Many Christians cry out for the fire of God. We ask the Lord to fill us with his fire, consume us with his fire, set us on fire and when the fire comes we…..run in fear, in confusion, in hurt and complaint. (or am I just talking to myself  lol) I would tell the lord that in my prayer time as I would look at the apostles of old who where endowed with power when the fire of the Holy Spirit came upon them or seeing many of his servants who are so consumed with the fire of his love that they walk in such a beautiful intimacy with him. I just didn’t comprehend the fire would be so hot at times and comes to not really set us on fire but to BURN EVERYTHING IN US THAT IS NOT OF HIM.  This season has indeed been a time in the fiery furnace and the more I walk with Jesus I recognize that the purification process its just that a process. Its not a one time thing but continuous testing of our love for our God and our neighbor in every season I believe one way or the other.

However, what I am recognizing why the Lord tells us to count it joy is that not only is it an opportunity to become more intimate with him in these trials because we run to him and to be purified but once we get out of self pity, the complaining, and the pain of it he would like to teach us how to walk through the fire. Equipping us with lessons, and strategic strategy against the enemy. Trials equip us for Spiritual Warfare and grow our spiritual muscles. Just as when you work out the more resistance you have the more your muscles grow and become stronger. However, anyone who works out knows when you began to work out with resistance your muscles began to tear, it burns, the next day your muscles are so sore and when they rebuild they are stronger than they were before. That’s how trials are for believers, when the Lord allows the enemy to bring resistance, it tears sometimes our very foundation, it can shake your whole world apart but the Lord allows it to tear down in us what is not of him, to shake our fragile foundation in order to build upon it the rock. The fire never consumes us even though many times it feels like that but it comes to refine and purify us.

I love what this Pastor said just yesterday when I went to my sisters bible study he reference Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship and conjunction with 2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. That when we offer our bodies as a living sacrifice that means to die to ourselves as the Lord test and tries us and the fire of God comes to burn out the chaff in us and kill our flesh completely and as we burn which is all SELF..self esteem, self confidence, self opinion, self will, self-pride, self help we than become a sweet aroma., pleasing to the Lord.

So I don’t know about you but the word of God says if one suffers we are all suffering in the body. So I believe many others are going through fiery trials right now, you may be asking the Lord why me, I cant take it any longer, Lord deliver me, but I am learning that when fiery trials come the weapon of our warfare is PRAISE AND WORSHIP…truly. That’s the weapon of choice, counting it joy. Lord can you please give us the grace to see from your perspective through our trials and sing our way through the fire as David did so many time. So be encouraged my fellow brethren, you are in training don’t run from the process but be steadfast and preserver! Praying for you all

-From Jesus with love

 

Hope In HIS LOVE…Even In The Pit

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Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I found myself what looked like in a raging storm of emotions a couple of nights ago. The waves were fierce and the wind even fiercer as I found my thoughts going into a deep  deep into a dark pit. I kept telling myself Nana you have been here before don’t take your eyes of Jesus don’t take your eyes off Jesus but, it was too late. I had completely lost my peace and all I could do was cry out before him in Mercy. The enemy shot one arrow of doubt that triggered my emotions and turned into a snowball effect of me doubting if I was in Gods perfect will. This strategy is called a sucker punch, is when your doing perfectly fine going about your day and a situation, a circumstance, a word is uttered by someone or something and triggers an emotional melt down. You my friend have been sucker punched by the demons.

I began to seek God asking why frantically, is something I did and I am outside of your will? Have I missed you Lord, have I missed you? I felt like Peter was on the boat and confidently walked out to meet Jesus the minute he took his eyes on the waves he began to drown…I was drowning in my pit. Looking for answer’s all over the place because when I sat in Gods presence I got nothing. It had been a struggle for a few months to hear his voice. It was after reaching out too two dear friends of mine who put my thoughts in perspective and I began to realize…I am being tested. When the Lord is silent its because I am being tested with the storm raging all around me would I cling to his promises? With all the emotions raging in my heart I still had to go to work and counsel and encourage online with their walk in Christ. Ironic huh lol but, the Lord used one of them to encourage me. As he wrote me back saying I had helped and ministered to him greatly. He made a statement that he can now return back to Jesus because there is HOPE IN HIS LOVE and it hit me like a lightening bolt.

That was the problem I had been trying to hope in my love for Jesus for too long. If I can be honest my passion for him was dwindling and I was so weary and tired all the time. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone because I had put hope in my love towards Jesus. I began to feel discouraged because MY love felt like it was decreasing, wasnt exciting anymore but that was just it. That is how our love for God will be sometimes conditional but when we HOPE in HIS love that is unwavering, unconditional, consistent, relentless, faithful, trustworthy, passionate (all the time), and always available. So from my pit, finally I declared my weakness and reached out to receive his love. Despite my falling terribly, giving in to the tactics of the enemy, giving in to doubt and lies against his character. Jesus loved me back to life and nursed my gaping wounds so I may rest in him as he continues to fight this battle.  I finally he spoke to me in a song that kept playing in my mind ” BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”.  So I declared yes Lord I will be still in this storm and HOPE in YOUR love for me not mine.

So do you find yourself in your own pit in the beginning of this year? The pit can be your circumstances, your own thoughts, and your emotions. That have been weighing you down heavily and you seem to not have a way out. You seem to not hear Gods voice and you don’t know where to turn, Hope in HIS love. Because He loves you he will never leave you nor forsake you, He has not forgotten you and is right there in the pit with you. He had me rewrite Romans 8:38-39 as a declaration over myself and personalize, you should too because HIS word stands!

“For I am persuaded that neither losing my job, nor losing my car, nor spiritual warfare attacks of the enemy, nor moving back to my moms house, nor the criticism of family and friends can separate me from HIS love. For God has called me, qualified me and justified me. I will hope in his love knowing that he is working it all out for my good!

-From Jesus with Love

Wholly Given Over To Holiness

Glowing Bible and dark city

(Kevin Carden Photography)

I heard a pastor say that this millennial generation has some of the best preaching, teachings and catchy lines since the church began because we have podcast, old sermons, great man and and woman of God we can glean from. As the the word of God says in the latter days knowledge would increase. So we have obtain much knowledge to feed our generation but we  lack more than any generation….personal holiness.
How many of  us have allowed the word of God to transform our heart, our minds and our way of life? Its not just about catchy phrases, cute apparel, how much wisdom you know or how well you can recite another preachers sermon but how have you allowed the word of God to take root to transform your life.

1 Peter 1:16
Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy

Interestingly the Lord never said ” YOU ARE holy for I am holy…..no he said BE Holy for I am holy. That means there is a part that all believers take part in the work and process of becoming holy. Yielding yourself completely to the holy spirit not even knowing the cost but giving yourself solely and whole heartily to it because you love Jesus. Not out of obligation or religious superiority but out of the love for the God that you serve to be more like him. The Holy Spirit is who empowers us to live holy lives before the Lord. I just love this statement “ We will not successfully resist the temptation of hollow, fleeting pleasures if we live in a “fascination vacuum.” We must be preoccupied with a superior fascination. A spiritually bored believer is vulnerable to Satan when he comes knocking at their door—that is why sins of our flesh are running rampant in the Body of Christ. But my point is not to give a list of other preoccupations; rather, to say that the reason that so many believers are addicted to fleshly pleasures is because they live in a spiritual vacuum. They have settled down and become content to live in spiritual boredom. I urge you not to be content to live this way. The key to successfully resisting temptation is not just loving Jesus in a vague, general way and hoping to avoid sin. We need something that really grips us spiritually. We need to live fascinated! Fascinated with God. I am not talking about going to Bible school, going on a missions trip, or being on an outreach team. We need something far more gripping than that: in the secret place of our lives we need to know and experience more of Jesus.”

What does Holiness look like?  that “The call to holiness is a call to enjoy God. Holiness is not a call to miss out on fun. Yes, we are missing out  sinful activities, but our heart is not missing out. Those activities will never satisfy you, nor will they refresh you or deeply connect you to other people. They will keep you broken, isolated, and disconnected”

Psalm 37:3–4
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart

 

As the Lord continues to take me on the journey of Holiness I have learned that the way to holiness is delighting yourself in the things of God, letting go of world pleasures and comforts that truly will never satisfy. Most importantly relying on Gods grace and asking the Holy Spirit for help when the Lord desires for me to let go of something I want to hold onto.  How we will make a difference in this world as believers is when we look separate from the world, walking in righteousness, holiness and carrying the presence of God to a dark, lonely, hopeless and dying world. The apostles and saints of old lived holy lives and I have come to see unfortunately in this generation to pursue living a  life of holiness you are immediately called “legalistic”, or “religious” but obedience is not legalism it is just that …..obedience. Our generation needs to take the word of God a lot more serious because indeed Jesus is serious about his word. I remember first reading the bible with the Holy  Spirit and I began to be so convicted of my lifestyle. I thought I could still profess Jesus and do what I desire thinking he would understand…when I asked him Jesus you are really serious about your word, I didn’t expect to him to respond until he said YES. I thought to myself….ooooh lol, thats when the Holy Spirit began to do a radical change in my heart and in my life as I continue to climb this mountain of holiness with Jesus. Falling many times in the process but yielding myself to his correction and his mercy and grace to MAKE ME HOLY AS HE IS HOLY

-From Jesus With Love

Prophetic Message From Jesus
Jesus began “As in everything we have done before, turtle steps; the steady, unwavering tortoise wins over the impetuous hare. And My Mercies are new every morning as you pursue the course set out for you. Just be aware, My love, continually, that you are moving towards the goal of detachment from all earthly values, even the opinions of men. Shall the servant of God hearken to the wisdom of men? No.”

“I’m calling you to live a holy life no matter which life you choose. But if you choose holiness with great consistency, you will find it increasingly hard to live in the world. That is why I am forever telling you who are young on this channel to leave the world and join a mission effort. But you will have to come to Me and ask for courage, because everyone will come against you in your decision.

Losing My Job To Work For Jesus

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I keep hearing this statement from others “Your one of the busiest people I know with no job”and I realize how very true that is lol. I am working, just working for Jesus now. When I was let go from my job 8 months ago I had no idea what the Lord had ins tore for me. First going through all different emotions of confusion, anxiety, fear and excitement all at the same time. I remember my co-worker saying “don’t worry Nana, don’t look at this as a demotion but a promotion from the Lord”. I just knew the Lord was releasing me into my calling….which is to work for him not at all what I thought it would look like. As I walk with the Lord I am learning I don’t come anywhere close to having him figured out because many times even what he tells me to do doesn’t turn out like I expect. However, working for Jesus is the best retirement, savings, 401K, insurance anyone can ever have!

1 Corinthians 15: 58
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

MY WORK:
I have come to realize that when you work diligently for the Lord and his kingdom you will be criticized or judged. Don’t be surprised by that. Many times I have statements with people thinking I am striving, performing, religious for the Lord or being legalistic lol. However, my passion & my diligence all come from my love I have for Jesus and sense of urgency. As believers we must understand the times we are living in and the time is so short, JESUS IS COMING and we need to be about the Lords business. The enemy is so good at getting many believers right now distracted about petty frivolous things that will bare no fruit in the kingdom. Even when I was working, the Lord would lead me ever so gently to stay up and do vidoes for him on “his” youtube channel even if it was going on 1 am saying ” work whiles there is still daylight (john 9:4)” He would wake me up in the middle of the night to pray.  He would lead me too began a blog and to be diligent about it no matter what. Then at some point had me going out to evangelizing from 3-6 everyday working for him. He now has me leading a small group in our churches young adults ministry, overseeing volunteers at my church, leading monthly outreaches, teaching on youtube, blogging, and most recently taking up piano and sketching! I love it all! Yes, there have been many times I have been weary, discouraged, honestly sometimes even sick and Jesus would so sweetly say to me ” My grace is sufficient for you, if you will do it I will provide more grace to complete it”. He did every time, it would amaze me and in those moments I came to see not only how Gods grace works but, appreciate it all that the more. I began to cultivate a closer relationship with the Holy Spirit, realizing how its Him who does all the work through us all the time. I know work to build up the Kingdom of God in every way possible, my time and my life is not my own anymore. So what work has God called you too and you have been making excuses, been scared or have been delaying, or just down right disobedient? I want to encourage you…..GET TO WORK…we need you in the kingdom!

MY PROVISION:
Wow, if that is one thing the Lord has been teaching me this year is trusting him with my finances and provision. I don’t think I ever have and I can’t say I have complete trust yet however, I know this is a soft spot for many believers. Oh, if we would all just trust him the enemy would no longer have a foot hold on many who are at jobs, places, destinations they were never intended for but they stay for security, convenience or for status. GOD WILL PROVIDE. Once losing my job I was unemployment for 6 months and the Lord kept telling me to trust him with provision to continue working for him and not to look for a job. He finally spoke to me about a job but it didn’t come thru (hence don’t have him figured out lol) .Then a week before my unemployment is about to run out I get a call from my former employer that I have a 401k that I am able to cash out….I was like waaa lol. It came right on time, then of course fear masquerading as “caution” that I need to be wise I can just use that money I should save it but I have come to know in the economy of God. Its all about giving away, sowing, giving until it hurts then the Lord will bring the increase. So I trusted the Lord cashed it out and began sowing in the kingdom in anyway I could trusting that I would sow all that I reaped. Sure enough with my funds getting low again. I got a call from a friend stating they had scholarship money from school and the Lord put me on their heart to sow into what He was doing. I was like, #HUSHJESUSHUSH yet again Lord you came thru!

I am not “vocationally working” for anyone. I have no car or any job prospects. In the eyes of many I may look like lost potential, a bum or even out of my mind lol but, I am working for Jesus. Investing all that I have in the Economy of the Kingdom which will never fail or crash. Trusting and knowing that my return will far out way my investment.  Seek HIS kingdom in all things and everything….I mean everything will be added unto. I am working every so diligently hear on this earth living for eternity. Will you too?

 

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

-From Jesus with Love

Ask “Jesus Do It Through Me”

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This week I found myself at my sisters house with my computer out of commission so unable to do blogs, youtube video and any usual online ministry for the Lord. I had so much time on my hands I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew the Lord wanted me to be about his bushiness as he has instructed me time and time again that my time is now His time. Its a grace given to us all and we will all be held accountable by how we used HIS time for ourselves or for his kingdom.  So lately I have been feeling a nudge to work more on my creative gifts. During the times the Lord had me evangelizing I desired so much to work on music, art, dance etc and even prayed in my heart the Lord would give me more opportunites to work on that. So I was reminded this week when I had all this time that he had answered my prayer, so instead of complaining I should get to work lol

So two nights ago I saw my nephews sketch book and coloring pencils as I thought to myself maybe I should draw. The Lord has given me some beautiful imagery in my alone time to explain things to me and so badly wanted to put them on paper to share it with other but began to think…Lord how, I have no skill in drawing. It seemed like a large task however I remember from Still Small Voice Youtube Ministry the Lord has been teaching us how to trust him with our creative gifts. How we should bank on our inability to do anything and rely on his grace to do everything he put it on our hearts to do. All we have to ask is “Jesus do this through me”. So I took the Holy Spirit up on that offer, sat down with a heavy sigh and said, “Holy Spirit draw through me”. The Lord gave me the word and a picture on my mind and I googled some images and began to trace with my eye the idea I had been given. Within an hour 1/2 I looked back upon the work and was utterly amazed at what Jesus had done! For not having any skill in drawing He did this through me by his grace. I thought to myself if you can do this imagine what else  you can do through me, and I bet Jesus was like you have no idea LOL. I honestly had no idea this gift was inside me and I am now so excited to draw more images with Jesus touch others and encourages others to do the same. Below is a prophetic message from the Lord about us using and relying on him for our gifts. I believe it will encourage you greatly

Prophetic Message From Jesus about our gifts (SSV Ministry):

“My precious Vessels unto Honor, I can do with you anything I want to. If you don’t have the DNA to do it, I will transplant My DNA into your very physical being and you will have the talent necessary. I ask for only two things: a pure love for Me and a willing heart of faith. With these voluntary attributes from you, I can do anything – and much to everyone’s surprise, I often do! You are not limited by past failures and boundaries you could never cross. As a matter of fact, you may not have been able to cross them, because I didn’t feel you were ready – and the gift could have been your undoing.

“Music is an especially treacherous in a gift, because people begin to worship the artist and it can go to their heads very quickly. For this reason, there is much tempering and seasoning and in fact difficult events in the past of my musicians. They must carry the anointing to bring you all into My presence. This is a priestly duty, and not all live a pure and priestly life. That is why you are seeing older musicians raised up. They have lived through the fancies and vanities of the world and have come into a place of realization: only I am important. “I wanted Clare to share this with you so you could understand that you are perfectly fit for any assignment I impart to you. Your skill level is not needed; your heart and surrender are. In fact, I place My desires in your heart.

So I would ask you to look inside and recognize your longings. I have placed them there for a reason. As you discover what lies beneath that throbbing heart, you can bring it to Me to turn it into reality. “I am waiting for some of you to discover yourselves and what I have for you. Seek Me until you find Me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Even as it is written, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.”

“Remember, to bring you joy and fulfillment is truly My delight.”-Jesus

So has he Lord put a dream in your heart to paint, dance, sing, produce, create in anyway for him? Do you feel you don’t have the talent, skill, your not qualified or that its not good enough or the worst lie that many others are doing it , so your not needed. LIES, LIES, LIES. Do you know how unique you are, there is no one like you and the Lord wants to use your vessel which is unique in personality and ways to minister to somebody only YOU can reach. So my friend so what are you waiting for? Those dreams are not yours but, its His dreams embedded in your heart waiting for you to step on faith and rely on his grace and ask  “Jesus do it through me”…..you will be utterly amazed and in awe at what he does!!

-From Jesus With Love

Being Ordained By God

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Matthew 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

I am learning in my walk that its a wonderful grace that’s given to all who are ordained by God. For the longest when the Lord called me I was running for man’s approval, man’s validation, and man’s support of what God had called me to do but when God ordains you He calls the unqualified, the unequipped and the uneducated. Those without status, title, and influence to become a light house in their generation. Fortunately, for me I fit all of those qualification and you do too!

When I began to walk in the direction the Lord called me to I got a lot of opposition. Not only from the enemy but many times from well to do meaning Christians who would question what the Lord told me to do because of my many non-qualifications. I too believed I had to go the “normal route” the way everyone has gone who is called by the Lord but I have come to realize that MY WAY was normal and GODS WAY never is lol.  These are some of the few things I heard and some things I have learned:

The first thing the Lord put on my heart was to start a prayer meeting at my apartment my first year for walking with him. I heard “you don’t have a covering so you shouldn’t do that”….actually I heard there
Psalm 91:4 reassures us, “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge”
Learned: I am married to Christ so the Holy Spirit is my covering

As the Lord continued to lead me the Holy Spirit began to impart a love in my heart to pray for everyone that I met or encountered. I heard “ you shouldn’t be so quick to pray for everyone or lay hands only be led by the Lord”
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Learned: God loves everyone and wants to touch everyone through you if you would allow it!

I had many tell me “you need to get a spiritual mother or father to help guide you in this spiritual walk”. So I began searching and the Lord was closing every door.
John 14:26 But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you.
Learned: Although having a spiritual mother and father is good in Gods timing the best counselor is the Holy Spirit who is the best spiritual counselor you can have!

I thought I needed to go to seminary school and others told me that I must if I am called to “ministry” However, when the Lord began to confirm that He would teach me I was scoffed at and called prideful to think that God could teach me.
John 6:44-45 For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up. 45 As it is written in the Scriptures,[a] ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.
Learned:
That in fact God loves to teach his children and by the Holy Spirit, He is the best teacher. Furthermore in scripture he even confirms that many of us in these last days would be taught by him

I find myself today unqualified in my own strength but qualified by Gods grace. I find myself unequipped by my own training but equipped by the trials God has allowed. I find myself uneducation without any vocational ministry studies but educated by the Holy Spirit. I find myself without status in the church but in the Kingdom called a “a royal priest”. I find myself without a title but in the Kingdom titled “a warrior bride”. I find myself having no church pulpit but my life being unraveled before the “cloud of witness” as a platform to impact all of eternity!

 

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

 

Yes you….you also are chosen, anointed, appointed and ordained by God in this generation for such a time as this. He will instruct yo and teach you in the way you should go. He will counsel you with his loving eye on you. Stop looking to men and believe what God has said and called you to. So my brother or sister…Go NOW, go into all the world and make Jesus known!

-From Jesus With Love